I can recall an incident that happened when I was driving to my parent's house one afternoon. I was stopped at an intersection and when the light turned green, I began to drive through the intersection. All I heard to my left was a loud screech. I immediately looked over to the sight of where I heard the noise and then watched an oncoming car swerve and crash head-on into a telephone pole. The car next to me at that intersection was in the left hand lane and due to the car on the opposite side of the intersection also making a left, his view was obstructed and he proceeded to make a left....right in the path of the oncoming car. This car was going at a considerable speed too because it wasn't as though he was stopped at that intersection before the light turned green; he was a car passing on his way through at the speed limit.
My heart dropped and I remember just putting my hand to my mouth and saying, "Oh my God..." as I drove forward in my lane.
I will admit my fault. I didn't turn around right away to help. I prayed, yes I did pray very much for those people. But I drove on. My heart went back to those in that crash but my head was swirling with thoughts and fears. "Don't go back, you might get legally involved for witnessing it and then have to go through all this trouble." I heard, "You are praying, that's good. But drive on, this is your time. If you turn around, you may be there another hour to help anyone injured or account to the police and that will be cutting into your free time." I heard in my thoughts, "Really? You don't know anything about handling a serious injury..." I continued to pray as these thoughts crossed my mind but yet I felt strongly in my heart the Lord telling me to turn around and go to those people to see if they were ok. The Holy Spirit just would not let me drive on in peace. So, I turned around for two reasons: For one, I didn't not want to ignore the voice of God speaking so clearly within me and two, I did not want to sin against God through a sin of omission.
Sins can be distinguished according to their objects, as can every human act; or according to the virtues they oppose, by excess or defect; or according to the commandments they violate. They can also be classed according to whether they concern God, neighbor, or oneself; they can be divided into spiritual and carnal sins, or again as sins in thought, word, deed, or omission (my emphasis added). The root of sin is in the heart of man, in his free will, according to the teaching of the Lord: "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man." But in the heart also resides charity, the source of the good and pure works, which sin wounds. [Catechism of the Catholic Church #1853]
Yes, we sin not only through the things we do, but also through the things we don't do. When charity and mercy demand an action, and we don't do it, we sin against our Lord.
We can think of the parable of the poor man Lazarus in the Gospels.
“There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours." [Luke 16:19-26]
The sin of the rich man was primarily one of omission - neglecting to reach out to his fellow man who was in need.
I turned around, arrived at the scene, got out of my car and told them I had seen the accident and asked how they were doing. Thanks be to God, all those involved were fine, able to walk around; when I arrived they were talking about the accident and the police had pulled up shortly after. It was no doubt a miracle because at the rate I saw the oncoming car traveling, I thought for sure an ambulance would have to come. (Looking back, I still cannot believe it; it was nothing save a miracle!). I pulled away and headed home, continuing to pray for them and their souls and thanking God for their safety and preserving them from great injury. My soul was at peace again.
Mercy run cold
I share that story to illustrate something that makes mercy run cold in our society: Self-interest and self-preservation.
But what is the life our Lord asks of us? Self-denial and self-forgetfulness.
"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." [Luke 9:23]
To find yourself, you must lose yourself...but lose yourself in a life of service to God and others. You must deny yourself and your own satisfactions. You must, in a word, die to yourself, like that little parable of the grain of wheat our Lord tells us about:
"Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life." [John 12:24-25]
It's a recurring message throughout the Gospels: Self-denial and self-forgetfulness. And a contrary, opposing message redounds throughout our culture: Self-preservation and self-interest. One is the way to heaven - the path of the straight and narrow that few take - and the other is the way to perdition - the path of the broad and wide that many take.
In our particular American culture, self-interest makes mercy run cold.
We are too caught up in our own ways and interests.
Here are some of those manifestations of our self-interest:
We prefer not to ask strangers what's wrong if they looked sad or bothered. "I don't feel like opening that can of worms right now..." or "I don't want to offend them by my asking, for what business of it is mine?" Self-interest.
How painful is a word of concern and compassion to someone who is probably thirsting for it?: "You look like you have something on your mind. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Behind that face you will find a story: A man who just lost his wife after 48 years of marriage; a woman going through a divorce after 30 years of marriage; a woman worried about how she'll get home after work on the bus system with an impending snow storm on the way.
Yet we'd rather not ask. We're in a rush. We've got our own plans to stick to. "I want to go home, I'm tired...I'd rather not go through the extra trouble." Self-interest.
It is our enclosed self-interest that breaks our arms from reaching out.
"If I go to help this injured person, I may get dragged into a legal case. I don't want to get involved in a mess." Self-interest.
"If I go to help, but do something wrong, I may get sued. Best just to stay put." Self-interest.
When we hear someone exhorting a sinful idea or sinful way that we know is wrong, we think, "I really don't feel like talking about this now..." Or "I don't want to bring this up, it's uncomfortable and just 'one of those things you don't talk about.'" Or "I don't want them to think I'm some kind of 'religious fanatic' or that I'm weird." Self-preservation.
When someone is being seriously ill-treated, we think, "I'd rather not get involved," afraid of what it might cost us. Self-interest.
I will share a story of the late St. Zelie Martin (best know as St. Therese of Lisieux's mother) that Celine Martin (St. Therese's sister), recalled in a biography she wrote about her mother:
I must also mention my mother's intervention on behalf of a poor girl who was being exploited by two hypocritical shrews. The whole affair had to be taken to court. She followed up the case, in spite of many inconveniences and a great deal of trouble, even admitting sadly: "If we did not work for Our Lord's sake, it would be very discouraging to try to do good." [The Mother of the Little Flower by Celine Martin, p.61]
I love her mother's words! I'm sure her battle for justice in that situation stowed up her treasure in heaven. St. Zelie's concern was not over that inconvenience it might cause her, or the trouble she might go through because of her aid, but rather her only concern was mercifully reaching out to that girl in need, in that moment.
It was mercy that impelled St. Maximillian Kolbe, in the Auchwitz concentration camp, to offer his life in place of another man's. Here is incredible first-hand account of those final days....
The man chosen for execution cried out: 'O my poor wife, my poor children. I shall never see them again.' It was then that the unexpected had happened, and that from among the ranks of those temporarily reprieved, prisoner 16670 [St. Maximilian Kolbe] had stepped forward and offered himself in the other man's place. Then the ten condemned men were led off to the dreaded Bunker, to the airless underground cells where men died slowly without food or water....
...Bruno Borgowiec was an eye-witness of those last terrible days, for he was an assistant to the janitor and an interpreter in the underground Bunkers. He tells us what happened: 'In the cell of the poor wretches there were daily loud prayers, the rosary and singing, in which prisoners from neighbouring cells also joined....Fr Kolbe bore up bravely, he did not beg and did not complain but raised the spirits of the others.... Since they [the prisoners] had grown very weak, prayers were now only whispered. At every inspection, when almost all the others were now lying on the floor, Fr Kolbe was seen kneeling or standing in the centre as he looked cheerfully in the face of the S. S. men. Two weeks passed in this way. Meanwhile one after another they died, until only Fr Kolbe was left. This the authorities felt was too long; the cell was needed for new victims. So one day they brought in the head of the sick-quarters, a German, a common criminal named Bock, who gave Fr Kolbe an injection of carbolic acid in the vein of his left arm. Fr Kolbe, with a prayer on his lips, himself gave his arm to the executioner. Unable to watch this I left under the pretext of work to be done. Immediately after the S. S. men with the executioner had left I returned to the cell, where I found Fr Kolbe leaning in a sitting position against the back wall with his eyes open and his head drooping sideways. His face was calm and radiant.'
[EWTN, Blessed Maximilian Kolbe: Priest hero of a death camp by Mary Craig]
How invincible are those in whom God dwells! How selfless!
Yet how often do we follow those various manifestations of our self-interest and self-centeredness, concerned of what it might cost us be it our time, our energy, our labor, our money, and so on?
More generous with us than we are with others
The Lord repays us a hundred-fold for whatever cost something may be to us or for whatever suffering we may undergo for being faithful to His call:
Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. [Mark 10:31]
And...
Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you. [Luke 6:38]
Whatever time we may "lose" in our act of mercy, the Lord gives back more. Whatever money we may give away in our act of mercy and service, the Lord blesses in another way. For whatever you think you are losing, you are actually gaining - and more. And not only in this life, but in our life to come. O how generous and merciful You are Lord! If only we could see all the ways! And when, when O Lord, will we come to understand Your words that tell us, "It is more blessed to give than to receive?"
Be merciful, for the Lord is merciful toward you.
For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. [Matthew 7:2]
Do you generously measure out what situations and people are worthy of your mercy and acts of service? Or do you require certain specifications? "Only if it's people I like..." "Only if I have a little extra time..." (which we never seem to have...) "Only if I have extra to give away..." "Only if they do something for me first..." "I'll only forgive them if I see that they're sorry..." "I won't talk to them until they talk to me first..."
Self-preservation and self-interest. Self-centeredness.
There is certain prudence involved in choosing how and when to do our works of mercy. For example, I as a young woman would not think it prudent to offer a ride to a young man walking by himself on the street. But I would vouch to say that our inability to show more mercy and help others is not due to a prayerful prudence but due more to self-interest.
Forget yourself, especially in this Year of Mercy that Pope Francis has declared. Practice the spiritual and corporal works of mercy lest the mercy in your heart runs cold.
Mother Teresa would joyfully pick up people off the streets whose bodies were infested with wounds and bugs; who were nothing but skin and bones. To her, there was no act of mercy too great to do for the Lord.
Works of Mercy
Let's revisit the spiritual and corporal works of mercy...
Corporal works of mercy:
Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Shelter the homeless
Visit the sick
Visit the imprisoned
Bury the dead
Spiritual works of mercy:
Admonish the sinner
Instruct the ignorant (This and the next work are extremely pertinent categories today, when so many people are confused by what the Church teaches on contraception, abortion, homosexuality, etc.)
Counsel the doubtful
Comfort the sorrowful
Bear wrongs patiently
Forgive all injuries
Pray for the living and the dead
Now...
1. Pick one in each area - one spiritual work of mercy and one corporal work of mercy - that you feel you are weakest in.
2. Try to focus on one a week.
3. Ask the Lord to send you situations in which you may grow in those areas and to be with You as you do them; He will bring things your way.
Of each work of mercy, remember that the spiritual works of mercy are the most important, for while the body passes away, our soul will live forever. It is our Lord that reminds us,
"...do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna." [Matthew 10:28]
If one loses their soul, they have lost it all.
Blessed Mother Teresa often pointed out that the poverty we experience in our western countries is much greater than the physical poverty she saw in the Third World countries from day to day:
“The spiritual poverty of the Western World is much greater than the physical poverty of our people. You, in the West, have millions of people who suffer such terrible loneliness and emptiness. They feel unloved and unwanted. These people are not hungry in the physical sense, but they are in another way. They know they need something more than money, yet they don’t know what it is. What they are missing, really, is a living relationship with God." [Interview with Journalist Dan Wooding, 1975]
Sadly, it is our self-interest that makes mercy run cold in our hearts. Yes, how much we lack that living relationship with God today. Yet, it is in that relationship with God that we will be able to practice heroic virtue and self-forgetfulness; it is in losing ourselves in His love that we will truly find ourselves. It is only in losing ourselves in the service of God and others that we will save ourselves and become who we truly were meant to be.
Do not let your self-interest make your mercy run cold. Deny yourself and carry the cross, especially in this Lenten season.
"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."
- Luke 9:23