...is your weakness.
...about myself I will not boast, except about my weaknesses...[the Lord] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me...
Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
[2 Corinthians 12:5, 9-10]
Oh how I love God's wisdom! It's so opposite of this world's so-called wisdom! "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in the eyes of God," God's Word tells us. If we are to boast, let us boast of our weaknesses for it is then we allow the power of Christ to live in us most fully.
To remember our purpose in parenting - that we are raising disciples of Christ to know Him, love and serve Him so as to be with Him one day in heaven - can be a daunting idea and seemingly impossible when one may consider how far short they themselves fall from a "saintly" life (this would be my daily experience!). But the thing that makes us most strong is our weakness; once we come to humble terms with our weaknesses as fallen human beings, it is then we can cede power and control over to Christ our King and allow Him to be our strength! We - if we so choose - can operate and live by the strength and grace of Almighty God to the extent that we realize and truly understand our utter poverty and nothingness without Him.
"...without Me, you can do nothing." [John 15:5]
What parent here does not feel like an utter failure at times? There's hope by God's mercy! But first, let us come to the realization that we cannot parent and raise disciples for God by ourselves and by our own strength. Oh how our culture loves to boast of making us independent and self-sufficient, yet how it forgets that we are entirely dependent on God and that it is He who even wills our each and every breath!
Our task as Christian parents is a very grave and incredible one indeed. Raising souls who will make their way back to heaven is no minor task; much is at stake, for the one who loses heaven loses everything. Yet, St. Therese's parents longed to raise a family of saints for our Lord - let us share in their longing. Yes, we cannot do this by ourselves and by our own strength. We need to step aside, put our pride down, and let God work through our weaknesses. This requires the virtue of humility.
St. Teresa of Avila when speaking of the founding of a new convent , which at that time was a seemingly impossible task, said,
"His Majesty was sending me strength and founding it on my weakness." [The Life of St. Teresa of Avila, p. 262]
How much we should carry this attitude in our seemingly impossible task (in relation to this culture of death) of forming little saints for our Lord....
"The Lord was sending me strength and forming them into disciples on my weakness..."
Let God's grace take over.
Desiring that God be given the glory
However, our labor is in vain if we do not grasp the fact that any good we do, any good we say, is only because of God's grace working through us. Of ourselves, we are nothing. Of ourselves, we choose the way of sin. We may ask the Lord for this grace of understanding our complete dependence on Him to more fully understand this. We must keep in mind that in any good we do, we should hope that God will be glorified through it...
Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. [Matthew 5:16]
The Lord wants our light - our good works - to shine out to the world but not for our glory, but that they may point others toward Him. Any good that comes forth through us is because of His grace, whether we realize it or not.
Once, when Mother Teresa was being interviewed about the great work she was doing, the author asked her, "I would like you to tell me about yourself and about your wonderful adventure with the poorest of the poor."
Her response was, "There is nothing to tell about myself. I am a poor sister like so many others. The Lord gave me a mission, and I am trying to fulfill it as best I can. But He is the author of everything." [Conversations with Mother Teresa, p.33]
See how humble the saints are and how they attribute all good to God?
In St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography, I was constantly amazed at her deep humility which was seen throughout her writing...
But I do not attribute to myself anything that is good, for I know that there is no good in me except what the Lord has given me without my deserving it. [Chapter 39 in The Life of St. Teresa of Avila]
St. Faustina spoke of the Lord...
"O incomprehensible in mercy toward my poor soul!" [Diary, par 6]
And these people were saintly and exceeding in virtue....how much more this should cause us to humble ourselves!
Yet how often we rob God of His glory? We like to take pride in our compliments and attribute the good work we do to ourselves. St. Thomas Aquinas calls this the sin of usurpation because we take what belongs to God and claim it as our own. How deadly is pride in the spiritual life!
In our parenting journey, if we see signs of devotion and virtue growing in the spiritual lives of our children, we must immediately and unceasingly give thanks and praise to God within our hearts because this is not of our doing - we are seeing God's grace at work in their souls. It is a beautiful thing.
We may also be humbled not only of our nothingness without God but also by the fact that God can bring about His Will in our children however He sees best. We know the Creator and true Father of our children has carved out the best path for our children's sanctity and His glory...and it may not always look so neat and clean because we are all disobedient little children, aren't we? Our own children have their own free will. We as parents just need to be surrendered, prayerful and penitential, do our best in each moment, and trust in Him.
Things we can do...
So what can we do to keep this always in mind - that we cannot raise saints for our Lord without His grace working through us?
1. First, realize that despite all the "dotting of the i's" and "crossing of the t's" you do in cultivating your children's spiritual life, anything can happen. They are their own person and have their own free will. We are accountable for teaching them the way of salvation to the best of our ability....but only to a certain point. It is up to them to either choose or reject these things as they get older.
2. Pray...always. Do not only pray prayers of supplication, but adoration, thanksgiving, and contrition for your sins. Commit to a daily prayer time and make it a priority in your life. THE priority.
3. Frequent the Sacraments...often. Mass at least on all Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation, but try to go to daily Mass too. (You could consider bringing the kids to a daily Mass a "little pilgrimage" because it's not exactly an easy thing to do!) Confession - for steady growth in holiness - should be once a month. Spend time with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
4. Don't rely on yourself and your "own" good deeds and merits, lean entirely on Christ's and what He can do, for without Him, you can do nothing. Realize your spiritual poverty before the Lord.
"True humility consists in not presuming on our own strength, but in trusting to obtain all things from the power of God." - St. Thomas Aquinas
5. When you see the good that other families and parents do, glorify God! Envy makes us sorrowful at the good of others, but humility makes us rejoice and glorify God. I love to see and hear all the different ways other families are raising their children in the Lord because it always inspires me and helps me that much more; then I adapt what seems fitting to our family. We need each other's encouragement and support in this secular world.
6. When you see the weakness of others and their "bad moments," remember your own sins first. It was said of Mother Teresa...
One felt instinctively uneasy to criticize in her presence. If anyone else did pass a negative remark or criticized someone else, she directed their attention to a sobering reality: "If we were in their place, we do not know how we would e or what we would do - maybe worse." [Where There is Love, There is God, p. 64]
7. Cultivate virtue in your own soul and pick your predominant faults and with God's grace, set to work on it. The spiritual life requires constant tending, so never stop. We should always be diligently working towards union with God, as the Holy Spirit guides us.
Let us not lose heart in our great task as parents! Let us labor for God's glory to raise up for Him little saints who will change this culture of death into a culture of life! I'm going to leave us with something beautiful I came across the other day that Pope St. John Paul II said...
"The Church needs saints. All are called to holiness, and holy people alone can renew humanity."
Amen! May we bear constantly in mind our own weakness before God so that we can allow God's grace to work through us in serving this incredible purpose!
Communion of Saints by Je Crois
"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."