Well, I'm just about wrapping up the planning portion of Joseph's upcoming homeschool year. He'll officially be in kindergarten, although I've been gradually easing him in this past year while allowing much time for this active little boy to play. We're actually starting after July 4. We're going year-round here, revolving our homeschool year around the Church calendar and taking a "sabbath schooling" approach where - generally speaking - I plan six weeks on followed by one week off, with several other days off as we plan or "bank" when spontaneous days off and sick days are needed. Giving it a shot, although time will tell and we'll see how things go.
Where it all goes down...
Anyway, as I'm planning, I like to look at our family's natural daily rhythm and the season of life we are in. It gets re-evaluated from time to time as circumstances and events call for adjustments and changes (love the flexibility of homeschooling!). Anyway, as I'm mapping out our general "daily flow" for this summer (I can't do schedules with strict time slots, it makes me feel pressured!), I'm revolving it around a daily routine of prayer that will permeate our day.
The Domestic Church
What I am thinking is how our homes are called to be domestic churches. We are that first and primary cell which builds up the Church at large. If we wish to build up the Church, we should truly strive to reflect the Church within our homes, that is...
Every home is called to become a ‘domestic church’ in which family life is completely centered on the lordship of Christ and the love of husband and wife mirrors the mystery of Christ’s love for the Church, his bride. [Pope Benedict XVI, February 7, 2007 General Audience]
To elaborate more on the domestic church and give you a fuller understanding of its beauty, I'm going to quote Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle who has written a beautiful book on this subject:
A domestic church begins with the Sacrament of Matrimony — man and woman become husband and wife. Pope John Paul II spoke of a Catholic couple’s call to holiness within that sacrament when he said, “Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family — a domestic church.”
Pope John Paul II explained in his encyclical The Gospel of Life...
“As the domestic church, the family is summoned to proclaim, celebrate, and serve the Gospel of life. This is a responsibility which first concerns married couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals that human life is a gift received in order then to be given as a gift. In giving origin to a new life, parents recognize that the child ‘as the fruit of their mutual gift of love, is in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift that flows from them’” (No. 92).
I love what this holy man reminded us: Parents recognize children as the "fruit of their mutual gift of live" and a gift for them and a gift that flows from them. Beautiful! Authentic love overflows and "pours itself out;" this is (one reason) why the Catholic teaching on sexuality within marriage is based on one's gift of self and an openness to having children; it is based on having a generosity with this gift of life from the Lord, Who is the Giver of this life, the child. It is a reflection of that "overflowing love" that exists within the Blessed Trinity and pours out upon us. When we don't reflect that within our marriages and are not open to life by trying to purposely prevent the birth of children other than for a very grave reason, we reject the Blessed Trinity - God Himself - from being in our marriage and family. This is why such a thing is gravely sinful. Honestly, the Church's teaching on sexuality, marriage, and family - although it is demanding - is my absolute favorite moral teaching. It is so full of beauty!! And although it is demanding, it is not impossible for Jesus looks at us and says...
For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible. [Matthew 19:26]
If we strive to live this Gospel of Life out with the Lord, it will not be impossible.
Furthermore on the Christian home...
The Christian home (the Christian family) is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called ‘the domestic church,’ a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity. [Catechism of the Catholic Church #1666]
We really have a BIG responsibility as parents. Our children's focus should be heaven. Our focus should be heaven.
Whether we live in a palace or a cave, Catholic parents have the awesome responsibility of raising their children to not only learn right from wrong, but to recognize that the real purpose of their lives in this world is to work out their salvation for the next world — their eternal lives. This has to be the No. 1 priority in raising Christian children. God provides the blessing of a family structure to accomplish this... [Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle, What Catholics needs to know about the domestic church]
How to begin
Prayer is where this endeavor to lead our children to heaven will begin and prayer is where it will end. My point - pray, pray, pray. We need to establish an atmosphere of prayer in our home; prayer, love and reverence for God. As Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle points out,
"If children are raised in a household of prayer, prayer will become as natural as breathing to them [my emphasis added]...To help our family focus more on the sacred rather than the secular, we must bring something of the big Church into our little domestic church. We do that by placing sacred images around our home. Sacred art, icons, crucifixes, images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Immaculate Heart of Mary, the Holy Family, saints’ pictures, sacramentals, holy-water fonts and even a prayer corner can adorn our homes. These holy items help stir the soul and lift our attention toward heaven and its rewards."
Everything comes back to prayer because prayer is just as necessary for the soul as breathing is for the body.
Pinning prayer to your day
Whether you have not ever prayed with your family at all (but would like to begin) or have a daily prayer rhythm established already, we should always strive to take that "next step" in leading our family toward the Lord in prayer.
Just as the Church prays throughout the day at various times (i.e. the Liturgy of the Hours or Divine Office), so we can - and should strive - to imitate that "structure of prayer" in our homes. This helps keeps our focus on the Divine and the sacred rather than get distracted too much by the worldly and secular, which passes away...
Yet the world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever. [1 John 2:17]
Our Lord solemnly and pointedly asks us...
What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? [Mark 8:36]
Prayer "weaved" and "breathed" through our day keeps us in relation and communion with the Lord, and most importantly, will help keep us in His Will.
Whether you stay at home or work, there are ways you can "pin" prayer to your own unique daily routine with your family. It involves this...
1. Look at your family's typical daily routine. What are things/events that generally repeat themselves? (i.e. you have a storytime, you arrive home from work, the kids go to bed, etc...)
2. Before (or after) you do whatever typically occurs, pray with your children and/or as a family. "Pin" prayer to that activity/daily occurrence. If you are just beginning to cultivate an "atmosphere of prayer" in your family, just keep it simple and choose one time of prayer. Add other times of prayer as time passes and as you feel is best, while trying to avoid your own laziness (which I know can happen at least for me...because this is hard work here sometimes!).
Ideas...
Before everyone eats breakfast, gather before a crucifix for morning prayer.
Before storytime
When you come home from work, pray a Psalm of praise with the family.
Before bedtimes, pray a decade (or whole) Rosary
After dinner, gather in the family room
Before rest time or naps
The possibilities are endless but totally adaptable to every situation.
Remember, prayer is most certainly a discipline. It's not going to happen very easily either. There really is a bit of sacrifice involved. It can be so very tempting, not to mention easier, to just cast our prayer time aside because it's too hard to call the kids together or because so-and-so pokes her brother or the kids are goofy. But you have to be reasonable too. Yet here's the bottom line: Kids are kids and they'll have bad days with prayer and they will have good days with prayer. Sound familiar? I think many of us go through these bad and good days ourselves! Guess the human condition doesn't change much, does it? However, we can learn to conquer this fault as we mature in our Christian faith.
Staying at home as a mother and homeschooling allows for a greater liberty in cultivating this atmosphere as you can somewhat control the daily routine and then "pin" down a usual daily prayer routine for your family at various points in the day. Morning prayer and prayer before bed are very common times. Keep in mind every family situation is different. Some families don't have both parents around or have parents that are divorced; some families have extended family living with them; some are taking care of a loved one who is very ill; both parents may work, etc... Just do your best as you set out to create more of an "atmosphere of prayer" in your domestic church and God will meet you where you're at!
For our family, we have various "scheduled" times of prayer throughout the day (not based on times per se, but more of the daily "flow" of the day...I think I mentioned how I am with particular scheduled times! And I'm horrible at keeping up with the Angelus - a discipline I need to work on. That's why the idea of "pinning" times of prayer works better for me when I'm home with the kids). I'm sometimes spotty with it though. Sometimes I just forget. Or I let other things that aren't as important slip in the way. But as I was planning this upcoming year and looking at our summer term, I wanted to be more intentional about praying at a couple various points during the day other than grace before meals and at morning and night before bed. And it's not lengthy or a lot, as they're still little kids. But I just wanted to add more "pockets of prayer" for them to connect with the Lord during the day. Like I said, we've been doing it already here and there but writing it out is forcing me to be more intentional about it with the kids and to try to pattern our day more like the Church since it is doable in our home. I truly want prayer to not just be something they do once in the morning or at night and they're done, but a living communion with the One, true, and Almighty God throughout their entire day. I hope they recognize this as they mature and grow. (Mother Mary, please hear my earnest prayer! Jesus I trust in You because I need Your help!)
Teach them various ways of praying
I think this adds to a very healthy prayer life. It teaches children that prayer has "many different faces." Prayer isn't just words, sometimes it's just being with the Lord in silence for a a minute (This gently introduces them to contemplative prayer. I know that even 30 seconds seems so long to be in silence with squirmy little children, but they'll learn!). Sometimes it means meditating the Scriptures or praying a Psalm. Sometimes we pray by tapping into the beautiful vocal prayers our tradition has passed on to us like the Hail Mary, the St. Michael prayer, and the Rosary. Sometimes it means praying freely and spontaneously with our own words. Sometimes it might be singing a song or hymn. Sometimes it means laying our hands on our children and praying over them. Sometimes it means gazing upon a picture of sacred art.
All of these "ways" fall into one of three expressions of prayer that the Church teaches us:
1. Vocal prayer
2. Meditative prayer
3. Contemplative prayer
We should also be mindful of using the five forms of prayer with our children:
1. Blessing and adoration - "Adoration is the first attitude of man acknowledging that he is a creature before his Creator. It exalts the greatness of the Lord who made us and the almighty power of the Savior who sets us free from evil." (CCC #2628)
Schedule in a trip to the adoration chapel. Adore God in your prayers at home.
2. Petition - "The first movement of the prayer of petition is asking forgiveness... it is a prerequisite for righteous and pure prayer. A trusting humility brings us back into the light of communion between the Father and his Son Jesus Christ and with one another, so that “we receive from him whatever we ask.” (CCC #2631)
Ask for the Lord's forgiveness for your sins. Do it with your children. Teach them to do this when they have done wrong.
3. Intercession - "Intercession is a prayer of petition which leads us to pray as Jesus did. He is the one intercessor with the Father on behalf of all men, especially sinners." (CCC #2634)
Pray for others. Pray for yourself. Pray for someone you saw that day. Ask your children who they'd like to pray for and if they want to ask Jesus for anything for themselves.
4. Thanksgiving - "Thanksgiving characterizes the prayer of the Church which, in celebrating the Eucharist, reveals and becomes more fully what she is. Indeed, in the work of salvation, Christ sets creation free from sin and death to consecrate it anew and make it return to the Father, for his glory. The thanksgiving of the members of the Body participates in that of their Head." (CCC #2637)
Thank the Lord for something special that happened in your day. Invite your children to do the same. Go to a daily Mass.
5. Praise - "Praise is the form of prayer which recognizes most immediately that God is God. It lauds God for his own sake and gives him glory, quite beyond what he does, but simply because He IS." (CCC #2639)
Praise God in your prayers with your children. Tell Him how you are in awe of how such a good God He is.
Christian families, be a light!
I know there is a lot of content in this post, but I hope you find it helpful and encouraging in establishing more of an atmosphere of prayer in the home.
The Christian family is meant to be a light in this world of darkness. It is meant to be a reflection of the Blessed Trinity. By the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, we are literally "lifted up" to participate in this Divine reality, to participate in the love that exists in God in a very real way. The deeper we enter into this reality, the more we as families and individuals become more fully who we really are. His love fills us and our home. It is His Love which then reflects and radiates into the world, changing hearts, breaking the bondage of sin, and binding up our wounds and pain. It doesn't mean we're perfect or sinless; it doesn't meant we won't have issues to deal with; it doesn't mean our struggles or sufferings will all disappear because the Cross is certainly a part of discipleship. But it does mean that we surrender everything over to the Lord and give Him Lordship so that he may make us whole, fill us with His peace, and lead us toward our eternal home. Again,
Every home is called to become a ‘domestic church’ in which family life is completely centered on the lordship of Christ and the love of husband and wife mirrors the mystery of Christ’s love for the Church, his bride. [Pope Benedict XVI]
The Lord always meets us where we're at no matter how far we feel from Him and no matter how horrible of a job we think we're doing in trying to lead our children to Him. In His mercy, He draws us upward. We just have to humbly say yes. "Yes Lord, here I am. Here is my family, my children. We want to live for You. I want us to live and die for You."
Lately these days, I find myself often saying, "Jesus, I trust in You!" because I feel like I become more and more aware of how incapable I am of fulfilling my heavenly task as a parent and as a disciple of Christ in general.
And praise God for that!
But when I doubt and am discouraged, God always confirms me in His grace because He is a good and loving God. Amen!
