I write this for all those people who make whole-hearted resolutions in the beginning of a penitential Church season like Advent and Lent, yet half-way through, you find you're falling off the boat with those same well-intended resolutions. I write this especially for those who try to do something together as a family to encourage not just personal growth in holiness but growth in holiness as a family too.
I look forward to these seasons of Advent and Lent because it's a chance to renew my spiritual life with extra fervor and resolution. Of course, we should renew our commitment to the Lord every day, but there's just more emphasis as a Church that happens within these holy seasons.
As a family, in the past, we've made resolutions for the Lord but if Bill and I don't encourage and remind the kids of what we are doing from time to time, it drops off as a whole. It's still better than nothing, but it does fade. And for me, starting a new habit is hard because, well, I forget! I think half the battle of a new habit is just remembering to do it (but maybe that's just because I'm so absent-minded?). So when it comes to the habit of making resolutions during these penitential seasons, we start off good, but then because we become absorbed by the regular, everyday activity, things dwindle and fade.
But, behold! I have an idea! (and this I do not doubt is nothing new). Last month, we were to pray for the souls in purgatory. Thanks to Rachel and her blog post "Celebrating All Saints and All Souls," I was given the idea to make a big calendar for the holy souls in purgatory. In the beginning of November, over dinnertime, we thought of the names of the people we knew who had died. So we wrote one name for each day and when that day came, we remembered to pray especially for that soul. I placed this calendar in our prayer room in a prominent spot by the door and every morning when I went in there, we were able to look at the name and remember to pray for that soul that day. It actually helped!
The inspiration of that idea carried over to Advent. In the past, there seems to have been two problems when it came to our family resolutions (not individual but as a family):
1. They were too vague (not precise) i.e. "make extra sacrifices" or "share more" or "give something away" etc...
2. We didn't have a way to be reminded about them
Not this time! We're learning from our failures....
On the first Sunday of Advent, we sat down at dinner and we all came up with various ideas of things to do as a family during Advent. So if one idea was to "give up a snack," every person in our family would give up a snack for that day. With the input from the kids, it seems to have created a nice variety as a family and is appealing to young children. While you can essentially just pick one thing to do for the day, there's a few we listed that would need to be assigned for a day.
There's two advantages to doing this as a family: 1) Encouragement we give to each other and 2) Accountability because you're not the only one who is supposed to do it. These things make a difference! We see through this another way in which the Lord has give the family as a means of personal sanctification and the sanctification as a family, since the family is the domestic church. The Lord desires that not only each person becomes holy and not only does the Church become holy, but that even the family as a whole becomes sanctified and holy. Beautiful! Help us, Lord, as a family, become the image of the Blessed Trinity as the family is meant to be - that perfect communion of love and self-giving!
The Christian family is also called to experience a new and original communion which confirms and perfects natural and human communion. In fact the grace of Jesus Christ, "the first-born among many brethren "is by its nature and interior dynamism "a grace of brotherhood," as St. Thomas Aquinas calls it. The Holy Spirit, who is poured forth in the celebration of the sacraments, is the living source and inexhaustible sustenance of the supernatural communion that gathers believers and links them with Christ and with each other in the unity of the Church of God. The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason too it can and should be called "the domestic Church." [Familiaris Constortio, #21]
So while there is a naturally-formed family by the flesh, in the Christian life there is also a supernaturally-formed family in the Spirit! The meaning of being a family in the Christian sense is uplifted to participate in the life of the Blessed Trinity through its worshiping, praying, and reception of the Sacraments together. The Christian family is called to stand out differently in this world by the fruits of love, generosity, self-giving, joy and those other beautiful fruits of the Holy Spirit and most importantly, by its fidelity and love for the Lord! This is beautiful! God has so exalted not just the dignity of each person, not just marriage, but also the family! Such a shame to hear an opposite message from the world about how Catholicism is some kind of enemy to humanity and human dignity!
Anyway, so here is what we made and so far (although it's only Day #4...) it's been helpful. Feel free to steal the ideas because I didn't copyright them (haha). I enjoy reading and hearing about what other families do for this exact reason - I get ideas on how to live out the Christian life more fully.
That's our Holy Souls in Purgatory calendar the kids made, next to our Advent "list-o-ideas"
(Yes, I'm just that corny)
They actually decided to stop helping me and start making Christmas hats...haha
This is what happens when I get so focused on a certain project - all the rest of the house falls in shambles due to my lack of supervision...
After we do our Advent list idea for that day, everyone (who did it) gets to put a construction paper heart in our little homemade manger, symbolizing the act of love we made for the Lord that day. On Christmas morning, our Infant Jesus statue gets put in the manger, softened by our acts of love.
Hooray! But, I'll let you know closer to the end of Advent how this is going, because that will be the real test! ;)
Have a blessed and holy Advent season, and here's to all the Christian families out there striving for holiness in imperfection! :)
