The New Year is always a time of making resolutions. Many choose to eat better, get back into an exercise program, quick smoking, go on a trip, enjoy life more, clear out clutter, and so on. These are good resolutions.
Yet more important are the resolutions we make that involve our spiritual life and the "health" of our soul. Do we make resolutions for this too?
Perhaps you do. Of course, there are basic ones every Catholic should strive for such as frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance and Holy Communion, a committed daily prayer life, and a conscious effort to conquer our predominant vice through the practice of the opposite virtue.
But what are some ways we can make sure we follow through with these resolutions and make them concrete and lasting?
Some tips....
1. It's best to only have 1 or 2 spiritual resolutions.
If you have more than that, the chances become greater that they will drop off because it becomes too many areas to focus on. You could choose one resolution that directly involves your prayer life and another resolution made to work on a predominant vice of yours. Here is some quick tips on identifying your predominant vice (which can be either the root sin of lust, pride, vanity, greed, gluttony, sloth, envy, and anger).
COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE
too high an opinion of myself
annoyance with those who contradict me, brooking no contradictions
anger if I don’t get my way or am not taken into account
easily judgmental, putting others down, gossiping about them
slow to recognize my own mistakes, or to see when I hurt others, and inability to seek and give forgiveness
rage when others don’t thank me for favors
unwillingness to serve, rebellion against what I don’t like
impatience, distance, brusqueness in my daily contact with others
thinking I am the only one who knows how to do things right, unwillingness to let others help
inflated idea of my own intelligence and understanding, dismissing what I do not understand or what others see differently
not feeling a need for God, even though I do say prayers
nursing grudges, even in small matters
never taking orders
inflexible in preferences
always putting myself and my things first, indifference towards others and their needs, never putting myself out for them
centering everything (conversation, choices..) on myself and my likes
calculating in my relations with God and with others
COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF VANITY
always seeking admiration and praise, worrying about not getting it
excessive concern about physical appearance
being guided by the opinions of others rather than principle (this is sometimes called “human respect”)
some types of shyness
sacrificing principles in order to fit in
placing too much a premium on popularity and acceptance
easily discouraged at my failures
taking pleasure in listening to gossip and hearing about others’ failures
always wanting to be the center of attention, at times stretching the truth, or lying outright, or being uncharitable in my words in order to achieve this
COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF SENSUALITY
laziness
always the most comfortable, what requires least effort
not going the extra mile for others
procrastination, last-minute in everything
shoddiness, complaining, excessively affected by minor discomforts
inability to sacrifice
not doing my part at home
expecting everyone else to serve me always
behavior and decisions ruled by my feelings and moods instead of my principles
daydreaming a lot with self at center
unable to control my thoughts when they attract me, even if they are not good
doing only what I enjoy (choice of food, work, etc)
uncontrolled and overpowering curiosity, wanting to see and experience everything and every pleasure
my senses and impulses overrule what I know is right and wrong
acting out my feelings (frustrations, desires…) with no regard for my conscience, God or others
only working with those I like, being easily hurt
fickleness and inconstancy
can never finish what I start
You may already have a sense of what your predominant vice is....perhaps impatience, being quick to give your opinion when people talk, excessive spending on unnecessary items, and so on. Pick it and work on it.
With regards to your prayer life, here's some quick suggestions. (And the reason I categorize one resolution to be a specific prayer-related one is because this daily practice of mental prayer is what will allow us to truly progress in union with God and detachment from our sins and worldly things).
Commit to a daily time of prayer; be specific about the time of day and how long it will be for. (Use a timer to make sure you don't cut yourself short - even when the prayer is "dry.")
Go to adoration. Begin spending time in the Real Presence of our Lord! Be specific about the time and frequency: Once a week for a half hour, for example.
Trying to be more attentive and prayerful at Mass; prepare better for Mass by meditating on the readings beforehand.
Determine what distracts you in prayer? Your phone? (Turn it off entirely or leave it in another room) Music repeated in your head? (Perhaps do a remote preparation for prayer by allowing your day to be filled with more silence and less noise and music) Daydreaming? (Practice custody of the senses and imagination but taking up the battle of turning your thoughts back to the Lord - this in itself is very meritorious in the battle of daily prayer)
Go to confession regularly - the saints recommend at least once a month. You cannot grow in union with God if mortal sin is on your soul. Venial sin weakens charity and mortal sin destroys it in one's soul.
Make a prayer space. Choose a special spot in your home that you can pray in silence and decorate it with a crucifix, prayer candle and your favorite holy picture.
Take up the practice of Christian meditation rather than just "saying" your prayers.
2. Work on those 1 or 2 areas for an entire year.
Sin runs deep and the habit of sin leaves a deep impression on our physiological, psychological and spiritual lives; working on our predominant vice for an entire year will help us make sufficient progress in overcoming it. Don't let it fade after a couple months! (More on that in a bit)
3. When you make resolutions, be specific.
Don't just say, "Pray more." How? Five more minutes? You mean to begin attending adoration? When and how often? Prepare for Mass better? How do you intend to do that? Be specific.
With regards to your vice, don't use vagaries (i.e. Be more patient). They're too general and have nothing concrete attached to them to help you put them into practice. It helps to think about the circumstances and events which usually "offset" your fault - in this case, we'll use the example of patience. When do you typically get impatient? Waiting in lines, waiting in traffic? Ok, now how will you practice patience?
4. To conquer the vice, practice the opposite virtue.
St. Therese of Lisieux shared how she would become annoyed at a particular sister who would constantly beg her service with or without reason. Here's what she did to counteract her feelings of annoyance...
Therese had acquired the habit of smiling every time when, at work, she was disturbed by a sister who came with or without reason, to ask her for some service. She noted this with humor in her last letter. She was ready for annoyance: "I want it; I count on it...so I am always happy" [St. Therese of Lisieux, by Bernard Bro, O.P., p.62]
St. Therese was happy with these challenges because in it, she always saw it as a means to her sanctification and an opportunity to love like our Lord.
You get the idea.
5. Do a particular examen on the resolutions, daily.
I will pull right from a book called Deep Conversion/Deep Prayer by Father Thomas Dubay...
In this exercise, the person focuses specific special daily attention on one fault to be corrected or one virtue to be acquired or improved upon: gossiping, overeating, bursts of temper, for example; or gentleness, humility or truth-telling. At the same time each day (an aid to remembrance), in a prayerful atmosphere and place, this individual goes over the previous twenty-four hours, examining how he behaved on this one specific point. How notices how he succeeded (praising and thanking God) or fell (asking God's forgiveness) with regard to that one aim, what were the times and circumstances, who were the persons and things that triggered the successes and failures. Most likely, it will not be many days before he sees a pattern emerging (if he did not already know it). This first part of a particular examen can be done in one or two minutes.
Then he spends another short time planning for the next twenty-four hours and preparing to do better on this one point. It is wise to begin a particular examen with a short prayer for light to know oneself better, and to conclude it with another for vigilance and readiness aimed at success in execution. This whole exercise can be done in a few minutes. Its helpfulness is due to putting concern and determination into practice.
The above example of St. Therese of Lisieux gives an examen in a nutshell.
This charming saint was concerned, determined, motivated, much in love, deeply prayerful and specific. It is no wonder she so quickly reached heroic holiness and the transforming intimacy with the indwelling Trinity.
[Deep Conversion/Deep Prayer by Father Thomas Dubay]
Do this examen every day, at night for the entire year. (You can even do the examen twice a day if you feel it'd be helpful; once in the afternoon and once at night).
Finally, a couple great books I'd like to leave you with that have concrete examples of overcoming our faults and struggles....
Saintly Solutions to Life's Common Problems by Father Joseph Esper
More Saintly Solutions to Life's Common Problems by Father Joseph Esper
These two books cover everything from anger to boredom to gossiping to gluttony; they give excellent and inspiring examples.
Have a blessed New Year and my prayers are that you will draw closer to God and find these tips helpful in the journey!