Whose life does not, at some point, meet with suffering? In fact, our Lord assures us that we are bound to face it:
In the world you will have trouble. [John 16:33, my emphasis added]
I'm sure you can easily recall a time when you fell ill or encountered a serious health issue; or maybe you lost someone you loved either by a relationship that just changed course or by death. Perhaps you can recall a time when you were criticized, deceived, mocked or undermined. Maybe you have faced a difficult set of circumstances that were contrary to how you expected them to be. There are countless instances of suffering that we can easily draw up.
It is completely understandable and natural to respond in complaint or frustration. Sometimes your response might be one of anger at the turn of events, or regret. Or sadness. These responses are perfectly human and it is not bad in itself to feel one of these ways.
However, let us rise above nature - through an act of our will in participation with the life of grace within us - and rise into the supernatural, the life of God.
In a word, let us be docile.
After you tell the Lord exactly what you are feeling in your struggle, choose to then exercise the virtues of faith and humility by asking, "What do You want to teach me through this, Lord?"
Teach me, Lord, Your ways that I may walk in You truth single-hearted and revering Your name. [Psalm 86:11]
For true growth in the spiritual life, making use of the will regardless of feelings is of the utmost importance. You follow the way of Christ not because you happen to feel like it (think of how fickle emotions are - they change with the weather!), but because you choose it - you make an act of the will. So why is conforming your will and making acts of the will necessary? Because it is only when our will is fully conformed with Christ that we may enter into heaven.
Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven; but only he who does the will of my Father in Heaven." [Matthew 7:21]
Do not conform yourselves to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. [Romans 12:2]
The Necessity of Acts of the Will
In essence, Christian perfection consists in conforming our wills to God's will. Hence, making acts of the will is necessary to conform your will to Christ's. This means using your reason to make choices rather than only emotion. Our emotions, being what St. Thomas Aquinas calls a "lower faculty" of our soul, are not bad in themselves; they just need to be ordered and submitted to our intellect and reason. And then these "higher faculties" of our soul should be submitted to Divine Revelation.
Sometimes our acts of the will may have to override how we're feeling in the moment. For example: I'm tired and I don't feel like praying but I'm going to choose to pray anyway because this is the least I owe to God in justice and, more perfectly, I do this because I love Him and want to show Him I do. This is not being fake or a hypocrite, it is expanding and exercising the virtues of faith and charity within us. We may not feel like praying but we do it because we know by Divine Revelation we ought to. See - our feelings and emotions are submitted to our reason and intellect, and our reason and intellect are submitted to Divine Revelation. Today, unfortunately, our cultures touts an inversion of this: Our reason and intellect are often formed and submitted to our emotions, often giving superficial (and at worst, non-nonsensical and illogical) reasons for morality and religion.
So point one: Making acts of the will in accordance with God's revealed will through Divine Revelation exercises your will and brings it into conformity with Christ's. Acts of the will are of the utmost importance for growth in the spiritual life!
"What do You want to teach me through this, Lord?"
So why this prayer?
As you grapple with your emotions - anger, doubt, frustration, despair, sadness, and so on - and in humility share them with our Divine Friend, let yourself then submit your human nature to the life of grace and end with a prayer that expresses the virtues of faith and humility, "What do you want to teach me, Lord?" and shows the Lord - who sees all things about your past, present, and future - your docility and willingness to learn from He who is the perfect Teacher.
Accept the circumstances and move to docility. St. Elizabeth of the Trinity advises...
In our difficulties [Elizabeth told a novice], we should rather accept them than desire to be freed from them; it is the acceptance that delivers us...Accepting the struggle allows true freedom. [Elizabeth of the Trinity: The Charism of Her Prayer, Jean LaFrance, p.61]
St. Elizabeth is not saying, however, that we shouldn't pray for a change but rather that we desire first to know what change needs to be made in us. Let me repeat that because it's key to handling adversity and sufferings with grace: It's not that we shouldn't pray for a change in our circumstances, but rather that we desire first to know what change needs to be made in us.
From faith and trust will blossom simplicity and abandonment, from which will come a freedom to be fully as God intended us to be. [ibid. p. 45]
St. Elizabeth says this about our crosses in life:
We look at ourselves too much...we do not have enough trust in Him who enfolds us in His love. We must not stand in front of our cross and examine it in itself, but withdrawing into the light of faith, we must rise above it and consider that it is the instrument of Divine Love. [ibid. p. 23]
Does not the Cross of Christ point up? Our adversities, you see, are meant to draw us up to Him and up to Heaven; they are meant to be an "instrument of Divine Love" for our sanctification and for the salvation of souls. But she's right! How often do we stand there examining and dissecting our crosses and troubles?? We churn it over and over again in our minds. No! Let us "withdraw into the light of faith," exercising that virtue of faith through an act of the will: "No Lord, I don't understand everything. You are God, I am not. But You are Love and I trust in You. So what do You want me to learn through this Lord?"
This willingness to learn from the Lord, who is a most Gentle Teacher, is
...a trait allied to humility. Genuine people are receptive and docile. They understand that they are personally fallible, that there is much they need to learn... St. Teresa of Avila proposes docility, teachableness, as a trait of genuine prayer. [Fire Within, Fr. Thomas Dubay, p. 240]
This docility is a mark of Christian maturity. It is a sign of the virtue of humility within the soul - who recognizes that they can't know everything and that they certainly can't understand all the ways that God brings about His Will...
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways—oracle of the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
my thoughts higher than your thoughts. [Isaiah 55:8-9]
Not only is it a sign of the virtue of humility, but it also helps nurture more humility in the Christian life as well.
Jesus is the Truth; He cannot deceive for that would be contrary to His nature. He will lead you and He will guide you. But He is asking you to trust in Him. To be humble in adversity and the crosses of life. This will lead to a mature Christian life and a greater union with God.
So next time you are faced with adversity, sharing all your thoughts and struggles as you would with a good friend, for He is our Divine Friend, then ask Him...
What do you want to teach me, Lord?