I've had this post in the back of my mind for almost a couple months now and after hearing Abby Sasscer speak yesterday, it prompted me to finish what I started. I have not yet read her book Simplifying Your Domestic Church since I just bought it yesterday, but whatever new things I learned from the talk, I'll make sure to allude to her. At the bottom of this I will also include two great links I've used for home organization and simplicity from a Catholic perspective.
This is me: Neat, tidy, organized, orderly, and in the realm of cleanliness, a little type A. Although, Bill tells me I've come a long way, so that's always good ;) But anyway, I am always trying to get better at my [many] faults when the Lord brings them to my attention.
The other night I was reading an old copy of a magazine (which I believe is out of print now) called Mater et Magistra (Latin for Mother and Teacher) and the subject was about just "stepping back" and letting the child make the connections between himself and the objects and ideas instead. It was a challenge to stop feeling the need to explain everything from Gospel parables and setting up precise activities and crafts for the kids to do and just leaving some things "open-ended" for further exploration. So many things from toys to crafts to our daily routines are already so "pre-contructed" that it leaves little room for wonder, creativity, and exploration. In a word, the article was awesome. When this is done, it allows the child to develop more of a love for learning and going deeper and further into things, thinking more on their own. Loved it. I'm in.
But the thing I laughed at was how the mother challenged, "Stop saving those crafts on the upper shelf for that perfect day that never comes..." Oops. That's so me. I can't stand crafts, but we do have craft supplies. Quite a bit too. But I probably do a craft twice or three times a year and other than that, they sit up on the shelf in our homeschool closet, getting neglected. I prefer simple coloring pages of whatever the kids want and like to color and colored pencils. They cut, they paste. And they're so creative! But, I couldn't help think, "This lady is sooo speaking to me right now."
So I did just that. Got those annoying crafts down, did a little reorganizing so things are easy access for the kids, and let 'em have at it. Wow the creativity was flying!
John-Paul loves the googly eyes...so typical....haha
I'm always trying to work on that balance of letting kids be and kids, yet also always keeping a neat and orderly home for my family. I tend to be more on the side of the neat and orderly. There was a point that whenever the boys ate (when they were little, like 1 or 2), I had to catch almost every crumb and wipe the table after almost every time they moved the spoon to their mouth (seems almost OCD now that I look back...). Now it's, "Ok, whatever. I'll sweep under the table later...." (and sometimes I forget to do that). ...Like I said, my husband tells me I've improved. But wiping up a spilled drink on the carpet or floor with just water or just a paper towel? Are you kidding me?? No. I have to do it the right way...get a little floor cleaner and stain remover on that puppy. Walk into the bathroom to find drops of pee on the toilet seat from the boys? (I can't wait for the day I no longer have to clean up pee from missing the toilet seat by the way....any other mothers of boys empathize with me here?) No, I have to wipe that up. I need a clean and tidy bathroom. I can't stand hair on the bathroom floor either. If I see any, it's in the trash pronto. I guess you might be getting the idea of my type of personality...
So I'm always asking the Lord, "Ok Lord...what do I need to let go of here to be realistic? What do I need to change?"
In the same breath, orderliness is a good thing because it creates beauty in the home (yet, as Abby Sasscer pointed out in her book Simplifying Your Domestic Church, you can have a ordered home but a disordered soul). But in the realm of our housekeeping, when things are in their place and [relatively] neat and clutter-free, you can think more clearly and be a little more at peace. It's a means of hospitality for your family those who visit you as well - who wants to live in a messy home or visit a place that looks in disarray? (Although we all do have those moments!)
Our prayer room always has to be neat and tidy. It's a sacred space! Our parish churches are always neat and clean aren't they? Oh, and see that little blue box on the bottom shelf? It's their "prayer box" filled with all their little Mass vestments, zuchettos and other things they like to use when they play Mass. Easily accessible for all of them yet easy enough for them to clean up when they're done.
Anyway, with that being said, I am a neat person by nature. So I thought I'd share with you a few little tricks I do throughout the day to "stay on top" of the day-to-day housekeeping and keeping it [relatively] neat and orderly with four little children ages 5 and under...
1. Do one cleaning task a day (vacuuming, dusting, decluttering, organizing, etc...whatever works for you); block it out in your daily schedule if you can, but be ready to either nix it for the day (because who knows how things can go with a house full of little children) until you can get to it the next day. Also, try to involve the kids sometimes and teach them these things - it's a life skill! (I do use a daily planner for my days, but it's very simple...)
2. Keep things in bins and baskets. This contains the mess. Over the past couple years, I've become a fan of swinging in to Good Will to see if I find any nice baskets or bins to store things in. This prevents piles of clutter and junk in your house too. I love them!
3. Make sure everything has a place. Random stuff can have its own bin. But in general, the kids should know where things go when they're told to put things away. Is there a designated bin for cars or for blocks? Where do you keep your library books so they're not scattered throughout the house, bound to be lost? Things should have their place and when you go to look for them, it shouldn't be much of a scavenger hunt to find them.
Buckets, bins, buckets...thank you Good Will and one year's sporty football Easter baskets...
Eh...I'm not too satisfied. I have to work on organizing this little closet; the boys need a shoe rack of some sort. Under construction....
4. "Clean-as-you-go." This would be with little things like dishes (I do these right after we eat most of the time...I can't let them sit and pile up for the day...), cleaning pee off the toilet seat (my fav), picking up random things laying out as you walk by them, etc...
5. Teach the kids how to pick up after themselves. I know this is painful to do sometimes because of the fight they might put up against you; but after time, they'll get it and it worth it. Don't expect perfection when they're little either; teach them the right way and for the most part they'll get it. But they'll have those times where it's either forgotten (but they're having a great time playing with their siblings so you'd rather foster that relationship at the moment) so then just do it for them. No big deal. If you're consistent 90% of the time, they'll get it. But remember they're little kids too. It's helpful for them to have a project table too where they can leave things unfinished to go back to later so you're not always "building up" and "breaking down" and discouraging their own free play because of the constant responsibility you're attaching to it. It's always that balance you're trying to achieve!
They did this...and yes, they did clean this up with a little over-the-shoulder guidance. Messes happen though.
This is bound to happen throughout the day...no big deal, give me five seconds and I'll pick it up....choose your battles with your kids according to the circumstances; but MOSTLY teach them to pick up after themselves, ESPECIALLY when at a guest's house...
6. Get rid of stuff you don't use or barely use. Also, no need for thousands of knick-knacks. I think when you have a lot, it makes the house feel like it's closing in on you (my own opinion). I love getting rid of stuff (for the most part, although there's things I need to detach from too....does anyone else have an obsession with pens or fresh office supplies?). You know those "poor man polyannas" they have where you can rewrap an old unusabale Christmas gift (those coffee mugs you get or bundles of body soap that you are overloaded on...)? They're out the door within the week. I think one of the things I like about having a 'smaller' home (compared to most middle class families in our area) is that it forces me to get rid of "stuff." At least once a month, I'm gathering a box of things together that we just don't need, or barely use. I could definitely still improve though, and I want to!
Ahhh....I can breathe...
How the homeschool room looks most of the time...
...but we did get creative for Easter at our house this year!
Alrighty, for those awesome links...
Project Nazareth - A ministry by Abby Sasscer whose desire is "that more families learn to live simply and generously even if the world says otherwise. She wants families to truly discover that less is more and that a simple life is a happy life."
Like Mother, Like Daughter - By Leila Lawler and her daughter. (For those of you who don't know, Leila Lawler was the one who co-authored the book on family prayer called The Little Oratory, which is a beautiful read. She has great housekeeping tips and tricks but with a spiritual perspective and realistic expectations, especially when you are raising a large family. She's great!
I'll stop here...but now you have some good material to make fun of me with! ;) Now get a-cleaning!