Ok, I'm going to share a few gems of wisdom from veteran homeschooling mothers who have at least a decade of experience homeschooling and have graduated their children on to either colleges or jobs and they're all doing just fine. I'm a sucker for listening to more learned and experienced mothers' perspectives on things as well as a sucker for asking questions about my doubts or concerns. I feel like I'm a pro at it.
So for those who also have young children and are interested in homeschooling, here's some things I learned and pieces of wisdom I always held onto.
1. Let them play...a lot.
This goes especially for boys who tend to be oh-so-wiggly. It is a blessing to be at home with the kids, even as Joseph is a month away from being six, because these kids get LOTS of play time and LOTS of outside time. Nice day out? Bam, outside. For hours. Throw a pool out there, being outside for a whole day is no problem, seriously. No need to go into the research behind why this is so beneficial (you could most certainly easily find the information backing it up), but trust me, it is most appropriate and needed for them. So, let them play...a lot.
2. Focus on habit-forming and building character and virtue.
Rather than putting such heavy emphasis on learning numbers, letters, letter sounds, etc... (which they all learn very naturally anyway, with a little help as you guide and teach them), it's even more important to hone in on developing their good character and good habits. This means teaching our children virtue.
I just rented this movie from the library last week called "Back to Jurassic." I never heard of it, it was a "Dove family approved movie," it looked pretty good and my son loves dinosaurs. Wow it was horrible. I ended up turning it off and used it as a teaching moment to the kids. Why was it bad? Because the main character was a nine year old little snarky boy who was a know-it-all. He talked back to his mother under his breath (no father in the picture of course), had an attitude towards those in authority about everything, lied to get his way, hated his sister and perceived her as annoying - barely an act of kindness toward her, just all negativity. But the worst part of all is that the makers of this movie portrayed this behavior as "cool" and desirable, worthy of imitation. (Is this typical in children's shows and movie today????) Let me tell you how I wish I could have reached into the television to slap this boy across the face. Why are the media emulating this kind of behavior? Where's the concept of portraying virtue as good and sinful behavior as wrong? It's all backwards today...
Ok, rant over.
But really, especially if our goal is to lead our children to heaven, habit-forming and laying a solid foundation for virtue and teaching what's right/wrong is so critical at this age. Children are sponges and learn so quickly. Focus most on teaching love of God, love of neighbor, generosity, kindness, gentleness, patience, prayer, self-denial, responsibility, mindfulness, proper manners, etiquette, and so on. Be consistent. Soak them in our Faith. This is so important! I'd rather my children be ready for heaven than college or a career any day!
Again, these years of laying the foundation and teaching them the most important "skills" they'll use in life (being virtuous) are most important!
Caught a couple precious moments!
3. Read to them...a lot.
Reading is so important for many reasons. Kids today rarely read. There's many reasons why (listen to this podcast episode called "Raising kids who read" for some great advice and information). But enjoy books together. C.S. Lewis said that a good book is one that can be enjoyed by all ages. There are so many great picture books out there for young children that both me and my children love to read. I've enjoyed many of them (and we're easily over 1,000 books from our local libraries in the past 2 years). Although some were tiny sacrifices for me to read...like Thomas the Tank Engine or endless books about...rocks (which I could care less about, but hey! That's being a mom sometimes - Joseph likes geology, that's great!).
But read a lot. Have a "storytime." I like to read over breakfast and lunch too, perhaps something without pictures too. Doing about 5-10 minutes of reading during this time is great because the kids' mouth and hands are occupied with eating and they're very attentive (most of the time). Currently, we are reading the original Winnie the Pooh books by A.A. Milne and the kids are enjoying them. Here's some book lists I've collected over the past couple years from sources I trust (in regards to content and how the stories portray good and evil) that might help you.
Another booklist from Read Aloud Revival
Honey for a Child's Heart has recommendations in the back that you can photocopy (you can just check it out from your local library)
The Art of choosing books - A great podcast to guide you in how to pick out great books for your kids and guide their choices (you know, to avoid the dark or weird stuff that's out there)
Story Warren offers some blog posts with good book recommendations and resources.
1,000 Good Books list
Here's also a list of ways to keep little ones occupied if you want to read aloud, especially from a book that might have few pictures or none at all. Then I enjoy pulling random ones off the shelves and give them a try. Hope this helps you!
4. Don't rush it.
I'll be honest. There's so much pressure to box our children into a specific category and learning curve that we forget that each child is unique and their own person. We think the "earlier the better" where it's really not. Why? Because their brains need to grow first to grasp certain things. This doesn't mean DON'T teach your child, but it means if they're not getting something, don't get frustrated and beat a dead horse. Let it go, let a little time pass, and come back to it.
So far, each time I've "hit a wall" with Joseph "not getting something" and I patiently tried several different times or ways to help him retain it, I ended up just putting it down for a period of time. He didn't get a bad grade because he didn't know it by a certain time frame. Why doesn't he know this letter's sound? Why can't he recognize this number? Why can't he add these up? But the amazing thing was, once a little time passed and we took a break from it and substituted it with more enjoyable things, I found that when we came back to it he was refreshed and he picked it up very easily. "What's the rush?," I learned.
Time. Let their brain grow. Don't try to force your child to know all their ABC's by the time they're four or five. Don't try to get them to read by the time they're six. They'll learn their letters, especially if you read to them a lot. In fact, a little thing I do. All I've basically done really to teach my kids letters is say each letter and its sound of the title/subtitle of the book we're about to read. Joey knows all his letters and sounds by now at almost 6 and John-Paul knows most of them at just turning four. Sometimes I'll point out letters here and there, but honestly, I stink at doing that kind of stuff. The grandparents seem a lot better at it than I am! But because they are their own person, they each have their own unique learning curve too and I keep that always in mind.
I had someone tell me a few years ago that perhaps my oldest should see a speech specialist because his language development was behind. I sincerely was open; so I prayed and thought about it. Hey, I'm not a know-it-all. But we decided not to. Guess what, he's fine. Just fine. He's very smart. But I'm beginning to see a pattern in his language-learning curve that's unique to him, not the "industry standard." Some are advanced, so move forward. Some are a little behind, so just take your time and stick with them to help them along. There's nothing wrong with your child having his/her own learning curve.
There's no rush! I also kept coming across this title from veteran homeschool moms called Better Late Than Early. I've never read it but it's from sources I trust and mothers with decades of experience who have successfully graduated and moved their children on in life. They offer great "field experience" advice. There's so much pressure for young children to know all this stuff by very young ages and get a head start on early learning when really, we need to just...relax.
5. Enjoy the younger years!
So many times I've had mothers of older children tell me this. These years fly by. I know it seems long because it's very physically demanding, but I truly try to remember this and try to just "step back" to enjoy and delight in my children. I remember one blog post I read and the mother of now-older children, looking back, gave a great piece of advice that stuck with me: Take advantage of being spontaneous and going out places with your children because as they grow older and get into their homeschooling, you have to be more disciplined with your schedule at home. I like that. Go lots of fun places, have playdates, and visit family during the week because you can. Places that would normally be packed on weekends are near-empty because...everyone's in school or work! Yes! And of course, you can certainly still do these things even as the kids get older (which is a benefit of homeschooling), but then they start getting involved in their own things and you don't necessarily have as much "room" to just drop and go or plan those things as often as maybe you once could. (At least that's what I've been told).
I hope these pieces of advice I've received and found VERY useful will help you out too with your little children. I'm still just beginning, but these little gems of advice that I've kept in the back of my mind have helped me tremendously. And I hope they help you.
And for anyone who's curious about why we are homeschooling, I wrote a post about that called "Why we are homeschooling" and I basically debunk four common myths about homeschooling. Enjoy!
Finally, to all you mothers out there who have given me advice, pieces of wisdom, answered my questions, or shared your own experiences - THANK YOU! You rock!