How can a two-and-a-half year old force their parent into potty-training? I'll tell you...
First, I'll let you know that our daughter is a little girl who knows what she wants, and wants it right now. So working with that temperament makes discipline arduous and exhausting, yet necessary.
Her desire to "use the potty" started when she was about two years old. She would say, "Mommy, I need to use the potty!" To which I would respond, "Ok, well you have a diaper so just go in your diaper for now...mommy will potty train you later."
Now, if you're not a parent, you need to understand that while so much emphasis is put on "when the child is ready," it's also necessary for the parent be mentally ready for the arduous task that lies ahead too. Potty-training can be quite exhausting. Children often tell you about their potty needs at times when your hands are tied up or you're completely exhausted and don't feel like moving. It's double exhaustion when you have other little kids around to take care of. So when she wanted to start using the potty (and her grandparents thought it was just the cutest thing), I'd always just defer to the diaper and then I'd tell my parents, chuckling, "Yeah well mommy has to be ready too..."
So her desire to use the potty would come and go because I'd just refer her to the use of her diaper.
"Mommy, I have to go pee-pee."
"Ok just go in your diaper for now, mommy will potty-train you later."
Now, I have a potty-training strategic plan which I call "The Potty-training Strategic Plan" and it's broken down into two phases. First, I do it in the fall/winter when the weather starts getting cooler and the kids start wearing pants and socks to keep warm. Phase 1 involves removing the diapers only during the daytime. I repeat, only during the daytime. The key is to do it when they have to start wearing pants and socks, that way, when I throw the underwear on and they do have an accident, they will know how uncomfortable it is to have "pee-pee in their pants" and it also saves major clean-up work because there's not this huge puddle of a mess that leaks onto the floor. (This is my favorite part of my method...) After they reach Benchmark #1 of mastering daytime potty-training (while still using diapers at night), I then move to Phase 2 of The Potty-training Strategic Plan by removing the diaper overnight too. Benchmark #2 is achieved when they are able to keep dry underwear throughout the entire night, thus completing the strategic plan and meeting our goal.
Assessments of success include an increase in confidence level (yours and the child's), dry underwear (for the child and hopefully for you too at this point in your life), and the ability to go places with that child without a diaper bag.
It also helps to construct a Vision Statement with your child: "I will use the potty in an independent and self-sufficient manner so that I can reach my maximum potential as I progress through various stages of my growth and development."
...On a side note, it never made sense to me to do it in the summer time where "you can just hose them off" if they have an accident. I don't doubt it works and hey, if it works, use it. But if I were a child and every time I had an accident and then received the reward of being sprayed with the hose (and our kids LOVE being sprayed with the hose), then I'd be peeing my pants all day long and would have no desire to actually go in and use the bathroom. But hey, like I said, if it works for others, awesome.
So anyway, this September rolls around and again, I'm being told about her need to use the potty. Yet at this point, I was wiped out and completely exhausted from when I was pregnant and in the first trimester.
"Mommy, I need to go potty!"
"Go in your diaper kid..."
And again...
"Mommy, I need to go potty!"
"After mommy's not so tired from carrying the baby..."
But this time I was actually mentally preparing because I knew cooler weather would be approaching soon and I'd begin my carefully-crafted strategic plan). After I finally started to catch up with life and get back on my feet more, the potty pleas continued. But I needed just a few more weeks to just get my ducks in line again after being so wiped out for so long. So I was planning to take action with this potty-training business around the first weekend in November, when things would be settled down after an unexpected family event happened.
But wait...Teresa had had enough. She was determined to start now.
I had no choice. She started marching herself right into that little bathroom, ripping her diaper off and sitting on the toilet. To top it off, Joseph (who is only six years old) started helping her with the process after he probably observed mommy was slacking off and obviously not taking care of her duties. ...I could hear in the bathroom, "Good job Teresa! Now pull your undies back up..."
And she wouldn't do this occasionally. She started to do it every. time. So of course I can't just let that go because chances are she might 1) unwind the entire roll of toilet paper, which is annoying, 2) get poop everywhere, or 3) make a mess somehow, in some way, because that's what toddlers do.
She won. She subtly manipulated and bullied me into getting a-move-on with her potty-training.
So here it's been more than two weeks in and she's doing very well with it. The only thing is she seems to not be a fan of going "number 2" on the toilet...I think it freaks her out. She's done it a few times but she seems to prefer the diaper. My thoughts are that in time, she'll get the hang of it if we keep encouraging her. I'm not stressed about it. (We do try to coax her with a little piece of gum which seems to help a little). I'm thinking that trying to force the issue might make it worse.... Do you have thoughts on this highly intellectual subject?