I thought it'd be fun to share some simple things that have helped me in parenting. I'm not an expert nor do I subscribe that what I do will necessarily help others. But nonetheless I thought it'd be fun because these have helped me quite a bit. They're just little things I learned through experience.
When your toddler or preschooler is naptime-resistant:
Our kids go to bed around 8-8:30ish usually. It's pretty much always been this way since our oldest was in diapers and we've kept that bedtime for the other kids for now. I like it because any earlier affords them too much time to sleep at night, causing them to wake up too early. Their internal clocks seem to have adapted to 7am wake up time, minus phases here and there. 7am to 8pm is a long day without naps and I really believe littie kids 5ish and under need some kind of a nap (or rest) during the day otherwise you start seeing a mental breakdown from them around 4pm or so. If I can keep naps going until 5 years that's great (it's my goal) but honestly it might have been until 4-1/2 for our oldest two. But the only reason I stopped was because I noticed that they could remain rather composed the rest of the day when they skipped naps (and not get super cranky and whiny and cry-y).
You're getting sleeeeepyyyy...
I am a big naptime enforcer. Partly for them and honestly, partly for me. I need that mental break for a bit so I'm not such a grump the rest of the day. What I've found to work when the generally 2-1/2 to 3-1/2 year old start to show that they're "done" naps is two things:
1) Pick them up and put them back in bed. Sometimes, yes - if necessary - *gasp,* a swat on the butt. Being stern, firm and consistent about it is key because if you let one exception go and let them have their way, it easily becomes a pattern. And really, they NEED it even if they think they don't. Oh...and I need it. (Just being honest!)
If they get out of bed, put them back. They get out again, put them back. Repeat. You really just have to be as relentless as them. And yes....it's super exhausting when they hit that "I'm-done-nap-even-though-I-still-really-need-it" phase. But it's worth it.
2) When they get a little older, like 3-ish, and they start to get into a pattern of constantly getting out of bed for this or that during nap time, you can threaten to put them to bed early *cue dramatic music*. BUT this only works when you have no where to go at night. For example, if I tell them that on an evening we're heading down to my in-laws, it's not going to work. You have to follow through that same night. So you have to be cognizant of the fact that you'll be able to put the kids down at regular time in the evening so then they will get the message quickly (and they'll get it quickly) that "Aw man! I have to go to bed before everyone else??" They really don't like that.
THEN, if desperate, you can give them books or puzzles during rest time (let them pick 3-5 books and put out a couple puzzles). I never did toys because it would just stimulate them to stay up - not even quiet toys. They'll have plenty of time of building creations and using their imagination at other times of the day and later during rest time when they're too old for naps but you want to keep the afternoon relatively quiet around the house (which is what we do here). Books and puzzles are my desperate attempt to stick with nap times after a few weeks of repeated escape attempts. These were used for a short time when they were older and phasing out of naps. But I'd notice that eventually, after looking at the books I gave them, they'd just lay there and then fall asleep. And yes, I'd wake them so they didn't sleep too long and then be up late. If I've had to I'd wake them up with a cookie just to not throw bedtime off too much, I'm ok with that every now and then (and I've certainly done that)! It's a balancing act. But it's worked. Maybe I'm tough with that stuff....who knows. But our family is happy and it's what works. But overall, the consistent pattern of our family has been naps from 1-3pm generally. The young guys naps and the two older ones have "rest time" where it MUST be quiet around the house but they can pursue leisurely things or play outside as loud as they want.
INTENSELY playing with his trucks...
Making spears outside, and other boyish things
Ok, now that I've shared this I'm sure my three-and-a-half year old and two-year-old are now going to stop napping and our expected baby will be a terrible napper. Lord, if you will to humble me this way, let it be. But spare me this if You can do it another way!
How to discipline when you're too exhausted to discipline:
Oops...how did this picture get in here?!
You know those moments....you hear your toddler break into the cereal cupboard to grab some handfuls of cereal. They've been doing this lately, it's a new phase they're going through to test their limits and to see if mommy really walks the walk. You repeat yourself time and time again to remain consistent. Yet there are moments when you're so exhausted that you know you just don't have the energy to get up and follow through with your pathetic cry of "Get out of the cereal cabinet, Ronan!"
What to do?
Ignore it.
That's right...just let it be if it's a situation that doesn't demand immediate attention or isn't something serious. Don't bother with that pathetic calling out to them because you realize you're just too tired to get up and actually follow through. Rather than weaken your consistency in enforcing the discipline by not following through with action (which will most likely be needed because when they go through these "testing phases," mere talk is not enough)...then you're other option when you're just too darn exhausted is to just ignore it. Don't bother disciplining if you they that they think you didn't notice AND if it's a situation where you can get away with that.
If you're too exhausted to discipline and big brother just whacked little sister with his toy sword....then, bad news, you have to address it. This is the hard part: To deprive yourself of that oh-so-comfy seat for your derriere and get up and handle the situation. But you really have to, to save yourself a lot of exhaustion and disciplining in the long-run.
When things get really chaotic and crazy in the house:
(It's not as bad as it looks...trust me)
You know those moments...when everything goes haywire at the exact same time. Four people want you at the exact moment; there's crying, squabbling, and another saying "Mommy, mommy, mommy..." trying to ask you a simple question. MENTAL OVERLOAD!
(Ok, sometimes in these moments I just freak out and yell...prooobably not the best way to handle it; it's my weakness that I'm working on day-in and day-out).
Ok, so what to do in these mental overload situations?
Just break down in a fake dramatic cry.
...Like, really obnoxious that they of course will easily catch on that it's fake.
"Wahhhh!"
This is bound to capture attention. It breaks the noise and changes the mood - the older ones will likely laugh and the littler ones might show concern and come and hug you, in which you just hug them back and tickle them. :) It at least helps a bit if you can remember to do that!
Well, that's it. There's my lame parenting wisdom, gained from experience. Hope it amused you!
