From my experience growing up, having a prayer life was...well, absent. I remember the only time I did semi-pray was when I went to Mass with my family...but even then, I often daydreamed and neglected the heavenly worship which was taking place right before me. So I don't know if I can even count that...
Sure, I knew the Our Father, the Hail Mary, the Glory Be. I think every Catholic knows these prayers. But other than maybe occasionally petitioning God when I was in need of something, I never really had a consistent, daily prayer life. I never knew what this was supposed to look like.
I think this is a struggle for many Catholics. We either compartamentalize our prayer to just Sunday Mass attendance, or we do it on our own terms (when we need something), or we empty the beautiful prayers we do know (Our Father, Hail Mary, etc...) of their meaning by merely saying them, rather than praying them with our hearts.
Now many non-Catholics may accuse us of that "babbling prayer" Jesus convicts the Pharisees of because we have these rote and set prayers...but I would say a Protestant can fall into the same type of trap by mindlessly reading the Psalms. Our Lord is not against having set and familiar prayers that we say, he's against emptying the words of their meanings and not praying with our heart as we say them.
Jesus wants out hearts.
Unfortunately, I think there is a disconnect with Catholis when it comes to this. Let's rattle off a Glory Be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit...Amen. Hail Mary...Amen. 2 minutes later...I'm done praying.
No no no! We should give our Lord more! We must give Him our hearts! Our time!
The Catechism of the Catholic Church has some beautiful advice on prayer that I'd like to share. I think it will be very practical for many people:
"Prayer is the life of the new heart. It ought to animate us at every moment. But we tend to forget who is our life and our all..."We must remember God more often than we draw breath." But we cannot pray "at all times" if we do not pray at specific times, consciously willing it. These are the special times of Chrsitian prayer, both in intensity and duration." (CCC #2697)
There are 3 expressions of prayer:
1. Vocal prayer: "Through His Word, God speaks to man. By words, mental or vocal, our prayer takes flesh. Yet it is most important that the heart should be present to him to whom we are speaking in prayer."
Our outward expressions and words should correspond with our interior disposition and what arises from deep within our souls.
2. Meditation: "Meditation is above all a quest. The mind seeks to understand the why and how of the Christian life, in order to adhere and respond to what the Lord is asking. Attentiveness is a battle to sustain so we are usually helped by Sacred Scripture, holy icons, writings of the saints or spiritual fathers, the great book of creation, works of spirituality
...To meditate on what we read helps us to make it our own by confronting it with ourselves...Christians owe it to themselves to develope the desire to meditate regularly...Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. This mobilization of faculties is necessary in order to deepen our convictions of faith, prompt the conversion of our heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ." (CCC #2705-2708)
3. Contemplative Prayer: "Contemplative prayer seeks him "whom my soul loves." It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him because to desire him is always the beginning of love...in this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself." (CCC #2709-2710)
This type of prayer involves a "determined will" as the Catechsim says. It is one that arises when we make the choice of allowing time and duration for prayer. This will arise simply because the lover seeks and desires the beloved of his soul: our Lord. "One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: One makes the time for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials and dryness one may encounter." (CCC #2710) Contemplative prayer is silent, "gazing" upon Jesus with the heart, as he gazes back.
Prayer is not easy, it's a battle. Mother Teresa said often how we must take the time to "struggle to pray."
How?
There are things we can do but first it must be known that we must cultivate this daily prayer life.
1. Make a prayer space, preferabbly somewhere quiet and removed. Use a crucifix, holy cards or images, candles...whatever will visually help lift your heart and mind to the Lord.
2. We must set aside time to be alone with the Lord. Yes, we are called to "pray without ceasing." This means that everything we do can become a prayer if we unite it to the Lord; we can pause throughout the day to unite ourselves with Christ; we can pray the Rosary in the car; we can just think of the Lord as we do dishes...but even among all that and making all we do a prayer, we are still missing something: That quiet alone time with the Lord, without distractions. This is why I never bought into the whole "my work is my prayer"...it should be, but it shouldn't be all of our prayer; it is certainly a part of the picture (and occassionaly on tiring days it may actually be our only prayer!)...but look at the life of our Lord, who often "dismissed the crowds and went up a mountain alone to pray"...He left the world - his ministry work among the people - to be alone to pray to His Father. Look, you need this silent and alone time with God. How focused can you be on hearing Him when perhaps your primary prayer time is when you are driving out on busy roads? You must set aside a time and space within your day where you are alone with the Lord, no distractions, no work - just stillness and silence.
Many of the lay saints found that time early in the morning because at the end of the night, there's often so many thoughts and things on the mind, so it would be harder to "be still." Certainly, they would still pray, but it was more difficult to do so on that deeper level.
Do you usually fall asleep at night when you pray? Maybe you need to set aside another space of time in your day... Continue to pray at night, but perhaps make it simpler and have your "deeper" prayer time at some other point in your day.
3. Use the Bible and pick up a Catholic prayer book. There are many beautiful prayers in Scripture and passages to meditate on. A Catholic Prayer book also has beautiful prayers in it: A Morning offering to begin our day and unite it to Christ; Acts of Faith, Hope and Charity; Examination of Conscience for the end of our day, etc... I recommend subscribing to the Magnificat because it has the daily Mass readings, a saint of the day, morning and evening prayer and a nice daily reflection. But there's plenty to choose from!
Make a space, make time, and use the Word. Just talk to the Lord; it's not something that has to be always rote and formal; prayer above all must be from the heart.
Look, we need prayer. Prayer is our relationship with God. Prayer is that wellspring from which all our love, our good works, our inspirations will flow. It must be daily, it must be consistent.
Start simple, 15 minutes a day. Use a timer on your phone if you have to! It's important to develope that discipline! As you grow in your love for the Lord, that time will grow.
Catholics, we are called to be disciples of deep prayer and union with the Lord! Prayer strengthens us to be disciples, disciples especially in adversity. It transforms us into Christ. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you; Scripture says we do not know how to pray as we ought, but it is the Holy Spirit that prays in and through us. One of the two things Mother Teresa always asked the Lord for after she received Holy Communion was, "Teach me to pray."
For more, read the Catechism of the Catholic Church's section on "Christian Prayer." It has great practical advice, Biblical understandings and origins of prayer, temptations against prayer, how to conquer them, etc... Check out sections #2558-2865
God bless! May our Blessed Mother teach us how to commune and adore Jesus always.