Radio on.
TV on.
Ipod in.
Smartphones in hand.
Check twitter.
Check Pinterest.
Check Facebook.
Check Instagram.
Watch Youtube video.
Music.
TV on.
Go on the internet.
What is one thing all of these have in common? They serve as great tools of noise and distraction. Now of course, I'm not saying these things are bad, but like anything taken to an extreme, it can become harmful.
Constantly consuming your time in media is going to affect your ability to pray, believe it or not.
Why?
One thing that is very appealing about all of those things listed above is that is gives us instant gratification. We get immediate pleasure out of listening to that music, checking how many people liked that status you posted, watching a favorite television show, and so on. All of these things - BAM! - provide us with instant pleasure and gratification. As a result of that "instant pleasure," we find it harder to be patient, and even worse, harder to be in silence.
God speaks to us in silence.
Are you one to always have the TV on in the background, even if you're not watching it? Do you habitually turn on music in the car or put your Ipods in? Are you addicted to checking your social media often? Do you have to fill your spaces of time constantly?
If you are one to struggle with "silencing" your mind in prayer and being still, then first of all, welcome to the club. And second of all, I would challenge you to take a look at your typical day and take note of how much "rushing" you are doing and how often you defer to music/tv/radio/social media/internet and so on. Because of all this "in your face action" and all these media outlets that serve to instantly gratify us, it is no wonder that we struggle to remain silent and still in prayer for 5 minutes, let alone longer.
On top of this, it is important to remember that prayer is more of a discipline than anything else. Why? Because it takes much will power and self-control to choose to be with the Lord in silence and remain faithful to that each day, despite how "non-instantly gratifying" it may be during that time. In all honestly, mostly everyone during their experiences of prayer are probably not swimming around in esctasy and heavenly visions. In fact, most probably find it very "dull" and dry. Silence? Well that's not very pleasurable. Where's the instant gratification and fun in that?
Yet all the more we need to discipline ourselves. Yet all the more prayer MUST be a priority of our days.
We have all these temptations to distract us from our number one priority during the day - our relationship with the Lord, which becomes most fruitful and deepened through prayer. Prayer IS our relationship with God. When people say they "don't have time to pray," it's not that they don't have time, it's that they don't MAKE time. Prayer, to be blunt, is not a priority to one who thinks that way. They build prayer around their days rather than build their days around prayer.
And so our generation today has a unique problem with these constant distractions and noises. These things are serving as a great barrier to our life in God. These things cloud out the clarity of the Gospel in our lives, they muffle God's voice, and they drown out our consciences that are screaming at us to be saved. We truly put our souls in danger this way because we lose touch with the Lord, who is our life.
Mother Teresa said we must take the trouble to pray. She gets it, she understood too - prayer can be a struggle.
Silence is a struggle. Yet I heard it once said that souls of great prayer are souls of great silence. They enjoy the silence because it is an ever-clear moment to be with God. And even while still being out and about, attending to their duties and jobs, they are still able to remain interiorly recollected in the presence of God. These are the heights of holiness we are ALL called to!
But darn it, that silence... gets me every time.
I want to give a few tips to help people cultivate that silence which is so needed and vital for a deep spiritual life.
On a quick side note, I think silence bothers many people. If there is nothing going on outside of us - music, tv, noise, rushing, internet, texting, facebook/twitter - then we are left to ourselves. I think some people are scared of this. I think silence makes some people uncomfortable because when left to themselves, without things to distract their minds or influence their thoughts and feelings, they have to face their true selves. I think many do not want to face what lies deep within themselves, be it a guilty conscience, past wounds from their life that the Lord wants to heal, or fears that lie deep within. And so as a result, they only half know themselves. God cannot "perform surgery" to heal us or fix our brokenness and lift us out of the muck of our sin when we don't acknowledge these things. But when we place ourselves in silence in prayer, these things well up from deep within and come to the surface. We need this sacred silence to become whole.
So what can you do to build a deeper prayer life through silence?
1. Take a look at how often you fill your day with noise. Then try to cut some things out. Do you really need the TV on if you're not even watching it (or barely are)? How about leaving the music in your car off on the drive to work? Really...who needs to check social media 50 times a day? How about you just leave your phone off in the distance somewhere? Maybe set a rule...no cell phone usage after 9pm? The more you make space for periods of silence in our day, the more easily it will be for you to be silent and pray.
2. Ask God for the grace to pray. All you have to do is ask the Lord, "Teach me to pray"...do it every day! Mother Teresa did!
3. Be disciplined. Stick to your schedule of setting aside that time for prayer and don't compromise it. If it means getting up a half hour earlier, do it! We need to break our poor prayer habits - put the cell phone far, far away so you won't be as tempted. Don't lay in bed at night to pray if you find you always fall asleep 3 minutes later....that's your common sense cue to find another space of time to pray. Readjust your daily schedule - if you need to go to bed earlier to wake up earlier, then do it. Remember, we should be building our day around God, not the other way around.
4. Find a quiet spot you can go to; go to a place where there is no tv, no music; remove yourself from the regular pace of life and find a hidden/special space to pray.
5. On distractions and "interior noises" while we pray: Everyone has them. St. Teresa of Avila, a great spiritual mystic on prayer, said to simply let them pass. Here is an anology she used: Imagine you are looking out at a beautiful sunset and then you see a boat passing along the horizon. You turn your eyes away from the sunset and catch notice of the boat. All you must do is let the boat continue along the way as you gently turn your eyes back toward the sunset. When the distractions come, just give it to our Lady, let it pass, and just calmly turn your heart and attention back to the Lord. If you allow yourself to get frustrated, or impatient and angry at not being able to stop thinking of other things, this will disturb your spirit of prayer more than anything else. Be calm, turn your thoughts back to God.
Sometimes too, distractions and interior noise can be allowed by God so that we can demonstrate to Him our desire to turn from the daydreams and distractions and still choose to be with Him in prayer. In this instance, our willingness to be faithful and still continue to remain in prayer (despite the constant distractions we are facing) is more pleasing and meritorious to God than if we were to just give up or if we were filled with consolations and could easily pray.
One more tip that I learned from the counsel a priest gave me during a recent confession. It was called the "3 strike rule:" If a thought comes to you once during your time in prayer, then gently let it go; if it comes to you twice, let it go again and return back to your prayer; but if it comes back to you a third time, it may be something the Lord is trying to speak to you about, or that He wants you to pray for. At this point, you must ask the Lord what He means by it and go further with it.
Holy Spirit, teach us how to pray and to love to pray. Amen!