As I reflect on my life and my educational experiences growing up, I realize how eroded my senses of wonder and awe at the things of God are.
There is good news here - I am recovering it.
How?
Through my little children! :)
As I shared in another blog, classical education is the contemplation of that which is good, true, and beautiful. It is meant, ultimately, to cultivate wisdom and virtue and lead one to God.
In the younger years, children constantly ask "Why?," they get into things constantly (and things they probably shouldn't!), they're super curious, they want to touch and taste everything, and they observe and look and stare (sometimes quite awkwardly). The desire to learn is so obvious. Well keeping a child's sense of wonder and awe at the learning and discovery of things will eventually train him to contemplate. Contemplation is the highest form of not only prayer, but also the pursuit of knowledge. To grasp that which is good, true, and beautiful, you have to ponder, reflect, and contemplate it and "take it into yourself." You have to let it permeate your mind, heart, and soul.
This sense of wonder and awe, curiousity and learning, that children are born with gets so easily squashed in our modern culture because of the over-consumption of media, television, fast-paced living, and other "noise." The enjoyment of learning and the pursuit of knowledge (in and out of school) gets squashed when kids get passed through grade levels as they see the goal of their school experience as merely getting through tests to get to the next level...high school, college, career and so on. This is why we see a plague of minimialism - kids doing the very least they can "meet the requirements and get by" and the bar of expectations actually lowering across the nation.
Part of "easing into" a classical educationwhen a child is young is fostering this sense of wonder and awe in very simple ways - good, wholesome, language-rich books (picture books AND non-picture books/poetry), reading aloud to your children...a lot (which I have come to enjoy so much!), exposing them to the greatest composers and artists of all time, and spending a lot of time playing and being outdoors in nature. Very simple, but experienced parents and experts in the realm of Classical Education have said that these simple things reap GREAT rewards as they become intregrated into their grammar school years of a classical education. In fact, these things of wonder, awe, imagination, and the enjoyment of discovery and learning don't stop once they enter kindergarten...they continue right on through because we're cultivated them right on through.
So OBVIOUSLY, I've been reading a lot of these books from booklists that are recommended, reading aloud a lot more, looking at beautiful art - both sacred art and by the great artists throughout time, and listening to great classical music (something I've come to appreciate now, but before used to be aloof to....would I still put it on "just for fun"? Probably not lol...But it's beauty I've come to appreciate). I genuinely enjoy a lot of the books we read together. C.S. Lewis said that a book is no good book at all if it's not enjoyed by young and old alike - and boy is that true. It's showing me how to find joy and awe in the very simple, day-to-day things.
Proud Papa Bear with the kids after a family yard clean up for the season
The best part about all of this is that I'm learning right along with them. I am so excited to homeschool because I know it will be this experience of re-learning through an entirely new perspective on life: one that is oriented toward God and shows how everything that is good, true and beautiful reveals Him.
Me and the kids are having a blast exploring nature together. We've discovered the little bird making a home in our tree is a house sparrow. We caught some spiders (ok, I did) and put them in a little nature container (they escaped).
We try to go on nature walks once a week now; this past week we got to pet a turtle in a pond - I was surprised he didn't try to escape in the water! I showed Joey a picture of the ducks in our "Field Guide of Birds" and we learned it was a Mallard duck. Being in nature helps the children (and me) to experience first-hand what God made - the beauty, majesty, and grandeur of it all. We are seeing the complexity, the intricacy and the perfect balance it all exists in because of our All-Powerful God. It's a reminder to all of us that everything beautiful comes ultimately from our Lord!
This spring I'm determined to catch a bumble bee for Joseph to see because ever since he got stung by one when he was younger, he's been so afraid of them! So as you can see, we've been outside, outdoors, getting into nature; digging, getting dirty, letting them play!
Sometimes, for fun too, the boys will "work" lol
I guess she put some mulch in her mouth...
Cultivating Wonder and Awe
The gifts of awe and wonder are actually gifts of the Holy Spirit. I'm amazed at how rich of a gift this is in children. I have been inspired by them in more deeply appreciating God's creation and the simple things in life. I am learning that cultivating that gift of awe and wonder and contemplation has everything to do with living in the present moment. Children don't worry about having to take a bath later - they aren't typically worrying and anxious about things to come. Neither to they dwell in the past, letting the lingering effects of that nasty dinner you made spoil their night. They just live in one moment - NOW.
Now, of course, when I see a butterfly, I don't jump up and down and flap my arms in excitement like the kids do, but I'm learning to ponder and "be in awe" of the Lord more deeply in each moment because of my children. Although we have 4 children (one due July 23!) that are 5 years old and under, they are ironically teaching me to slow down more, to live more simply and yet more deeply. The whole experience of having children and this newer pursuit of learning about classical education has opened my eyes to the presence of God more in each moment. It has allowed me to be more thankful for the present moment and to live more fully in it. It has allowed me to "pause" more and contemplate that which is good, true, and beautiful and see it as coming from the hand of our Creator.
Here's some things I've learned along the way that have helped me do this:
1. Lessen the "doing" of life and focus more on the "being" of life.
Even though I've been aware of this, it's crazy just how affected I am by this mentality of "doing" over "being." Having 4 children 5 and under doesn't make it easy, but somehow it's helped me immensely in this area. Yes my days are busy and there are nights when I pass out at 8:30 with one of the kids in their bed, but it's made me prioritize what is important and let go of the other little, frivolous things that would normally suck away my time and attention. I am realizing that I'm more of a frivolous person than I considered myself to be! Praise God for that humble realization of my weakness.
In our culture, our days can become filled with running here, running there, excess this, excess that, overinvolvement in extracirricular activities, doing things that don't serve our final purpose in life in some way, to-do lists, housework, schoolwork, addictive social media and texting usage, and so on... It's a no-brainer that we are a very task-oriented, busy, rushing, and consumeristic society. I realize how hard it is to pause and just be. Because we are go-go-go and do-do-do, it leaves little room for us to stop, reflect, and think and live deeply. Worse yet, our idea of "living deeply" is by doing a lot of things, acheiving a lot of things, or having a lot of things. Our culture has got it all wrong but yet it has infiltrated our life's perspective.
Thank God I've come a long way with this, even in the area of things that need to get done around the house. I have a general house list of things I want to get done on a weekly basis - bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, etc... (Laundry is more than once a week haha...almost every day actually lol) But I don't regiment it to a particular day anymore. I have a general day that I shoot for, but if something comes up or we make other plans, I'll work around it and get to it another time during the week. (This is big for my super-oganized, type-A personality!). I don't get as worked up as I used to about all I want to do. My list of "to-do" serves me, but I don't serve it. (Sometimes I slip back into this mentality and so I need to keep reminding myself this or else I feel overwhelmed!). The most important thing is being: Being with my children, my husband, and not just in a physical way, but in a way that gives them my attention. There's a time and place for doing things, don't get me wrong, but sometimes we push aside our relationships with one another and even moreso with the Lord, for things that don't matter as much.
2. Disconnect a little more.
I don't keep my phone on me when I'm at my house; I keep it in another room on loud so I can hear it (although most of the time I don't until I check it later because I'm so busy with the kids). When I'm with other people, I generally keep it away in my purse and try not take it out and check constantly. If I hear my phone and check it and it's nothing urgent, I'll usually answer later rather than interrupt the time I'm spending with the kids or others. I don't like using apps like Facebook or email on my phone anymore because for me, they've been more of a distraction and means of idle time than anything else. Believe me, it's incredibly freeing when you don't check your phone five times every hour! I guarantee you'll discover how addicted you actually are to your phone through this process. I know I did. Let. it. go. And set aside a period of time later (or earlier) during the day where you can do social media, emails, and other things like that. But to check it throughout the day, throughout the hour...unnecessary. I find in general, it's just not necessary and distracts from living in the present moment and the real world.
3. Live more deeply in the moment.
I am trying to attend more to the moment and focus more on who I am with, rather than things that need to get done, my stupid phone (haha sense the bitterness?) or things still lingering on my mind from the past. Be attentive, converse, ask questions to the people you're with, ponder what you see, utter a little prayer to the Lord about whom or what you see.... God's grace and inspiration only comes to us in the present moment and so often we get caught up in the past, anxious about the future, or distracted in the virtual world by hyper-connectivity that we miss God's grace! The waste of grace is something we will have to account for at our judgement. They are moments when God is offering Himself to us, allowing us to participate in His Divine Life in some way, and we are too lazy or unncessarily distracted to notice.
I'm not saying "do nothing," in case you are getting that mental picture. Our vocational duties (so in my case, laundry, reading to the kids, housework, changing dipaers) are pleasing to God and in their own way are prayers uttered to God. But my point here is that there is so much unnecessary distraction from the present moment of being with people or being with the Lord.
4. Eliminate the excess around you
I never realized how much of a declutterer I am until we moved into our own house. The local Good Will is probably very familiar with me... If I can't use it - or barely ever use it - I've learned to just give it away and let go. Instead of having 10 different jackets, I have 3 of my favorites that I wear all the time.
Get rid of the clutter. Somehow a house that doesn't have a lot of clutter and "stuff" translates into a more peaceful and simple living. Get rid of the extra clothes - especially those old clothes you haven't worn in 5 years. You won't miss them, so stop hanging on. Detach. Reduce the wardrobe to the favorite things you wear and a few dressier things. We really don't need 20 pairs of shoes and sandals. I used to be a sneaker freak but I wore most of the them every now and again. Even though they were in great condition, I eventually just gave them away and kept a few of my favorites I wear all the time. Toys? Yes, we are good at giving them away too - yes even the kids are. (Yet somehow they still have soooo many...but it's all good, they play with them all and get good use). Get down closer to the essentials in the things you have. Be more simple in what you acquire and ask if you really NEED something...or if you just want it.
Doing this is a lesson in detachment - realizing that the things we have are meant to serve God's glory and help us in our state in life - but that we can't cling to them forever. I learned a lot from Mother Teresa about this!
5. Leave it to the Lord
When we become Christians, it means Christ is the Lord and King of our lives. He has full and supreme reign over EVERYTHING. There is NOTHING that happens that's not under His control (although at times we may not be able to understand or see that). Whatever bothers you, whatever is on your mind, whatever you are worried or anxious about, go right to prayer. Take it to your Heavenly Father and surrender it over to Him like a little child who trusts autmomatically that his parents will take care of all his needs. Kids don't worry about if they'll eat or not, if they'll have clothes. They just trust their parents will give them what they need and they don't question. This is why our Lord begs us to be like children, they so easily trust. Well He wants us to trust in Him. Pray and ask the Lord for more trust in Him because so often, our worries that distract us from the beauty of life come down to the fact that we lack trust in God.
It's time to eliminate the excess, disconnect a bit more, and live more simply with our priorities for God in line. Live more deeply in the moment, see the Lord at work around you, wonder and awe at His creation - including your children!, and remember things are things, but people are people. Let it lead you to praise and adore the Lord, to thank Him, and know He is with you always!
"Why spend your money for what is not bread;
your wages for what does not satisfy?
Only listen to me, and you shall eat well,
you shall delight in rich fare."
-Isaiah 55:2