Meet Ronan!
Our little guy was born 4:19am on Sunday, July 26. Another late-night/early morning delivery (that's how it's been for all the kids...). Thank you all for prayers, the labor and delivery was fast and smooth, praise God. We chose the name Ronan because it's a strong, manly Irish name and also because we are friends with a priest whose faith and devotion to our Lady we admire. Kolbe is for St. Maximilian Kolbe who lived during World War II and is well-known for the sacrifice of his life at Auschwitz so that another man - who had a family at home - would be spared from execution. St. Maximilian Kolbe had an intense devotion to the Blessed Mother and started the Militia of the Immaculata ("Army of the Immaculate") back in 1917. The Militia of the Immaculata is a worldwise evangelization movement that still exists today and encourags total and complete devotion and consecration to our Lady.
...We do tend to pick saint names for our children who are noted for their devotion to the Blessed Mother... ;) There's a reason for that!
The boys showered Ronan with affection...
Teresa took a few minutes to warm up to him...
Ronan was baptized August 1 and it was a beautiful occasion and joyful day. We actually did a double celebration for Joseph's birthday too since they fell so closely together.
Ronan is entirely yours Lord.
(This is the coolest picture ever...no filter or anything done to it, this is just the way it came out!)
Presentation to our Lady
Our bundle of love
Adjusting to 4 kids ages 5 & under
It's a little crazier... and we're a wee bit more tired. But we are getting used to everything! It's been a blessing to have family and friends helping us out, taking the kids, making dinners, etc...
Pre-Ronan, I was honestly anxious and a little worried about having another little one when the others are all still so young.
"How would I nurse the baby while a little toddler about one and a half runs around getting into things and the two boys are wrestling and slamming into the couch?"
"Some days are already so stressful and exhausting with them, and now another to tend to while chaos ensues around me?"
"What will homeschooling look like, how will THAT work?"
"Is it possible for me to even have more patience???"
There'd be an occasional day where I would have to let it out to Bill in tears.
Ah yes, how motherhood stretches you beyond what you picture your limits to be!
How it gets handled...
I don't know where or who I'd be without the Lord.
I would be lost. Perhaps more negative or bitter. I don't know and I don't want to know. All I know is that a relationship with the Lord is more necessary than breathing.
Whenever these motherly doubts and negative feelings cross my mind, bam! I hit the adoration chapel, make a special time for extra prayer, or attend Mass...BY MYSELF. I go to Confession to start on a clean slate (I'll be honest, I need to do this more frequently because before you know it, time just slips on by).
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding."
(Proverbs 3:5)
"Cast all your cares upon him for He cares for you."
(1 Peter 5:7)
Prayer. Nothing can be accomplished gracefully without prayer. Open your raw heart and emotions up to the Lord and then let Him guide you day by day, moment by moment. It comes down to our trust and faith in Him.
I talk and open up to my husband about everything I'm feeling too. He's my biggest support. His prayers and encouragement in my doubts and his persective on things help keep me sober, realistic, and seeing the big picture. When God brings spouses together, He doesn't do this just for their own happiness but also for each of their sanctification. Their "jobs" are to help one another get to heaven. It makes it much easier when spouses share the same vision about life, eternity, morality, love, marriage, family life - all those big things. It is a blessing to be working toward one common goal, heaven, and have a husband who is incredibly supportive and loving.
I am all for asking questions. I really don't know much, and even though we have 4 children, motherhood is still very new to me. For myself, I benefit from hearing concrete examples of how various families handle different situations from discipline to teaching the Faith. I could not value the wisdom of other mothers enough. But it's important here to talk to another mom whose viewpoint and perspective on life and family you value. For example, it won't help much if you talk to someone who values worldiness over godliness, when all the while the Lord is important to you and not them so much.
If I don't ask another mother personally, I usually come across it on a few of my favorite Catholic mother/homeschooling blogs or through a book. One of the things St. Padre Pio encouraged in the spiritual life was daily spiritual reading. We miss out on treasures of wisdom when we don't learn about the saints, read their diaries or treatises on the spiritual life, Church documents, conversion stories, and so on. For a woman who is either married and/or a mother, I couldn't encourage it enough for her to also read things which specifically pretain to her vocation. Remember, our vocation is our path to sanctity. Our vocation is how God is calling us to grow in holiness. So before we go getting involved in a million different extra curricular acitvities, running here, doing this and doing that, we need to make sure we are putting our energy, time and prayer into our marriages and family first - spouses before children even. When marriages break down, so goes the family. But even if children are wayward and the parents are worried, it is of utmost importance that the spouses remain committed to nourishing their marriage so that it will always remain the root and foundation of their entire family. It is no coincidence that strong families typically comes from strong marriages.
Here's a few books I have read and enjoyed:
Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women (I have not read this book but it's on my list, the author is excellent)
Do you have any suggestions of books you have read - I'm always looking for good vocational reads!
Doing these things - praying, talking, and reading - help guide me so much.
And in the end the Lord is ALWAYS faithful.
Post-Ronan
Now that Ronan has arrived, I see how the Lord has provided the grace necessary for our family. We've been praying for that for 9 months! It was a concern of mine that Teresa, clinging to me so much since she was born, might feel a bit jealous when Ronan comes along and I have to constantly be holding and nursing him. I prayed about it. A couple months before Ronan's arrival, she began migrating towards daddy a lot more. Now she is a complete daddy's girl! It worked out perfectly and she loves her little brother. She is often covering him in a blanket or laying random toys next to him for him to "play" with.
It is a little "crazier" but having the 4 little ones has taught me to let go of certain things that aren't as important.
Shorts and shirt put on backwards today? Who cares...you're putting it on yourself and becoming more independent.
A little poop in the underwear because mommy didn't help wipe your butt? Whatever...one less thing to worry about.
A little messier at the kitchen table (and on the child) because the one and a half year old wants to feed herself? Fine with me now, frees my hands up.
Dirty dishes sit around in the sink for an extra couple hours? Getting over it... (I like to clean them right after...)
Jess, this is ok to leave there for a little while...
Letting Teresa play in her cute little black dress shoes for Mass because she RELENTLESSLY demands them put on her EVERY MORNING? Ok, I'll let her...she looks so adorable in them anyway and they'll probably only last her 1 more month because kids grow like a weed at this stage.
See these were all things I would have to do (well maybe not always the thing about the backwards clothes - I always thought that was funny haha). And even though my right eye still twitches over it, it's made my type-A personality become more flexible and practical and is a reminder to me to keep focused on the bigger things, not the petty things. I will admit my secret to these changes: I pray every day to the Blessed Mother to change my heart about things that need changed. I know I'm not perfect and I know because life is always changing and adjusting, that I can't always expect my same old ways to work. Some do, and might, but others I'm sure won't. So what do you change when you don't even know what to change? Well - you ask for that in prayer. "Show me what I must change about myself Mother." These prayers may manifest necessary changes in your character, in your discipline, in the way you are living out your marriage, in even the small petty things (like I mentioned above), or major things.
(Now don't get me wrong, my house is not a disaster area...I am a very tidy and neat and clean person by nature! The kids have their responsibilities and everything is kept neat and clean as best as possible. But I'm learning to let go of some things that aren't necessarily as important in that moment).
I highly encourage you to listen to this highly inspiring talk about Our Lady of Sorrows. Praying to her under this title will reveal those things which are hidden, as Scripture says when Simeon talks to our Lady: "Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed." (Luke 2:35) Our Lady of Sorrows has a special way of revealing to us those things which might be hidden in our hearts. We may also use this devotion when prayerfully discerning things regarding our children. The talk goes on to explain this devotion further and most beautifully.
The important things right now are having the kids spend a little one-on-one time holding their new baby brother, focusing on building good habits that lead toward virtue, reading (still trying to get back into a better rhythm of that), and - for myself - prayerfully discerning discipline that's better for Joseph's new maturity stage, spending time with the kids, going outside and on walks with them, and....practicing more patience!
I have noticed that being pulled in more directions than I'm used to is making me pray more throughout the day so that I'm always seeking to God's Will in that moment, rather than my own emotional reaction to a situation. It's tough. But I'll probably be much better off if I do this and maintain a greater sense of peace and joy throughout the entire day this way.
I'm not saying everything going to be much peachier, and I know there will be tough days still, but it'll be handled much better if I'm constantly seeking God's Will rather than my own. :)
God bless you!