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Writer's pictureJessica Fahy

Things I do when the kids act up


This is how I deal with a range of day-to-day situations with little kids to keep my sanity (or lose it more? - you be the judge) and put out fires before things escalate.

1. Ignore it. Yes, I've developed a high tolerance for noise at this point (4 little kids under 5, who would have thought?). If it's something ridiculous or little, or it's something that gets exaggerated and overblown just because, I don't waste my time (or voice) and just move along. Using your mommy-instincts, you can usually tell when no reaction at all is the best one and eventually in minutes, everyone's fine.

2. Cry. That's right. But not a real cry, an obnoxious, exaggerated wailing. Then I blubber on, "Can't we all just get along here??? Wahhhhh! " or "Nobody wants to eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! All I do is try to spread on the jelly and peanut butter the best I can but it's not good enough, so no one wants to eat it, not even Cheddar...Wahhhhhh! *sob sob*" (Yes, you get the point. It's just ridiculous and loud). BUT, it gets their attention, makes them laugh, and they snap out of it and listen.

3. Scold an inanimate object. This is when someone gets hurt by an inanimate object and there's no need for them to either over-react or carry on the way they are; I immediately get to the source of the problem and scold the inanimate, unliving object and give it a time-out. Oh, they get a kick out of this and they forget about their pain and unending wimpering.

4. Be lovey-dovey. Sometimes, when someone is being defiant and doesn't want to do what they're asked (typically just John-Paul right now), I go lovey-dovey on them. He can't resist. His eyes fill with hearts, as though he's lovestruck. Trust me, when I do this, Bill starts cracking up because he can't believe the drastic change in John-Paul's behavior and his irresistability to mommy's smooches and love. "Awwww, John-Paul, do you need a hug? Aw, come here, mommy wants to give you kissies...Stay at the table and eat your dinner now, my Mr. Snuggles..." And I go on, until he's overwhelmed with affection. Works like a charm ;)

5. Throw them. This works great with all my children (even Joseph). When they're wailing out of control and having a trantrum or whatever it may be, sometimes I'll just pick them and toss them into the air. Or maybe I'll take their hands and start swinging them around in a circle. They love this. This works great especially with Teresa when she's cranky or just having a trantrum (toddlers are so easily distractable). Even Ronan, who is 4 months, loves a little toss in the air - it's when he laughs the hardest! It's a recipe for instant change of annoying crying for all the kids.

6. Chase them. For example, if I need someone to hurry and get on their shoes (but they're being sluggish and delaying with every possible reason under the sun), I'll crouch low, run in place and say, "Oh, I'm gonna get you now! You better go get your shoes on!" (I know you're visualizing this in your head right now...). And then I'll give them a playful smack on the bottom and hurry after them (for like 5 steps...). They get the point and get a-movin'. They like when I pretend I'm a monster too (why do kids get so excited over this? haha)

7. Make up a stupid song or dance. Sometimes (depending on how goofy I'm feeling), I'll make a silly song or dance about what they're doing. For example, if they need to clean up their mess of toys after we have morning time: "Clean up, clean up, clean up. yo'. mess." (I can't even describe the tune, everything is just spur of the moment and ridiculous; often I'll clap with the beat too). Then I'll do some kind of silly dance or gangsta move with a straight face - which they don't get, they just think I'm being super-silly.

8. Call on Flopsy the Bunny. Flopsy just has something that I don't...I just can't figure it out. I'll admit, Bill and I need to use him more often! (P.s. - Bill is an excellent puppeteer)

Flopsy is directing the situation here.

The kids get a kick out of Flopsy the Bunny

All is well here...

9. Teach them the opposite proper behavior/way of dealing with the situation, give cool-down time, take time-outs, yell, or spank. But these are all the typical ways of disciplining you're probably familiar with, so I won't go into details and bore you. Yelling and spanking are our absolute, last-resorts and we don't use them much because if you do, it becomes ineffective and the kids don't respond. So when I raise my voice, or Bill does, these kids know they better get it together...

Now, the use of these "techniques" would be a little dependent on your personality and temperament, but as for me, I have no problem stripping myself of my dignity.

I can't wait to try these out on the kids when they're teenagers.... ;)

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