Satan delights in sadness and melancholy since he himself is sad and melancholy, and will be so to all eternity, a condition which he would have all to share with him.
~ St. Francis de Sales
Sadness is an emotion we all feel at times. Some more often than others. Our temperament (such as those who are melancholic) also plays a role in how easily disposed we are to become despondent, sad or despairing. From here on out, all quotes (except those from Scripture) are from The Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales and his chapter on sadness.
St. Francis de Sales counsels us that there two categories of sorrow - one good and one bad, depending on its results upon us. In other words, what type of effect does this sadness produce in me? Observing the effects this sadness has on us, we can determine if the sorrow is something that is leading us closer to God or is leading us further away from Him, into more despair.
Good Effects of Sorrow
A good and healthy sadness is one that leads us to mercy and penance. One who is experiencing sorrow as a result of something tragic that happened can either close in on themselves or it can lead them to cry out to God for mercy so that God may have pity on him and assist that person with relief through His grace, making "his burden light."
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
A good sorrow is experienced when we realize our sin, feel saddened by it, and ask for God's mercy and forgiveness. Then, we are forgiven and need to be at peace.
Or perhaps one observes the disappointing or unfortunate actions of another, or maybe one experiences an injustice inflicted upon themselves, and it makes them sad. This is normal. But a good effect of this sorrow would be to lead that person to offer penance on the other's behalf. This takes the focus off of an unhealthy absorption in self.
It may take a little honesty and time to get there, but that's understandable. But does my sorrow lead me to cry out to God for mercy and offer penance, either in reparation for my sin or the sins and sad situations I see others in?
Bad Effects of Sorrow
St. Francis de Sales lists six evil results of sorrrow:
Anguish
Indolence (also known as sloth, or even a paralyzing inability to do anything)
Indignation (feeling anger at something unjust or mean)
Jealousy
Envy (taking delight in one's sorrow)
Impatience
Quoting Scripture, St. Francis de Sales reminds us,
For sadness hath killed many, and there is no profit in it. (Sirach 30:25)
What are signs of unholy sorrow? Unholy sorrow not from God leads our souls to feel restless and disturbed. Never at peace. It disquiets the soul and arouses vain fears. It makes the soul feel disgusted with prayer and uninclined to it. This sadness overpowers the brain and makes it drowsy, deprives the soul of wisdom, resolution, judgment, and courage and crushes her strength.
I'm sure we have felt this at times. When we realize these signs, we ought to turn immediately to God in prayer, whether we feel like it or not, and cry out to Him to deliver us...
I sought the Lord, and he answered me,
and delivered me from all my fears.
Look to him, and be radiant with joy;
so your faces shall never be ashamed.
~ Psalm 34:4-5
Remedies to Sadness
St. Francis de Sales, in his classic, practical manner, gives ten - TEN - remedies to bring us out of sadness that are guaranteed to work if we but persevere.
"Is any among you sad or afflicted? Let him pray." (James 5:13)
Prayer raises the soul to God who is in truth our only joy and consolation. St. Francis says..."but in prayer let your emotions and words, whether inward or outward, conduce to trust and love of God."
Vigorously check the inclination to sadness.
Even though we may be doing everything coldly, sadly or without fervor, we need to go on all the same because to enfeeble our duties and good works and stifle them by sadness is something the devil would love to see. "When that enemy of our salvation sees that we will not discontinue them, and that they are actually more meritorious and prosperous for our salvation through resistance, he will cease to annoy us," St. Francis tells us.
Refresh yourself with spiritual songs.
Referring to David playing the harp before King Saul, St. Francis reminds us of the balm good spiritual and sacred music will apply to our soul.
Be actively employed.
Not neglecting the need to first cry out to God and acknowledge how we feel, St. Francis recommends it is good to then divert the mind from the cause of its sadness so as to not excessively dwell upon it. Excessively dwelling upon it only drives the person to become trapped in their prison of pain, rather than allowing them to be set free by turning to God.
Make use of outward acts of fervor.
Even though you may not particularly take delight in various actions, it helps strengthen our will and order it toward what we know we ought to be doing. Quote Scripture aloud. Kiss a crucifix, bless oneself with holy water, hold a sacramental like the Rosary and kiss it. St. Francis gives a beautiful example:
...such as embracing the crucifix, pressing it your heart, kissing the hands and feet hanging thereon, raising your eyes and hands to heaven, and calling upon God with words of love and reliance, such as, "My beloved is mine, and I am His" (Song of Songs 2:16)
Acts of mortification.
Acts of mortification in moderation are useful in overcoming sadness because these things are meant to produce interior spiritual consolation. Every time we "die to the flesh" - die to ourselves and our will - it creates more room for God to fill us with His Spirit.
Frequent Holy Communion
This Heavenly food strengthens the heart and gladdens the spirit. It is even more important during times of sadness to rely more heavily upon the Sacraments.
Remain open to your confessor
Granted, most of us do not have a confessor or spiritual director who is a religious. If you do, great. But opening up to a confidant whom we know is committed to living a holy life, and one that is striving for holiness, is a second option. This may be a spouse or good friend. St. Francis says, "Make known your emotions, cares, and suggestions which spring from your sadness, with faithfulness and humility." In our pride, we may not think it necessary to open up to another person, and that God is enough. But there is a great immediate relief God gives us through people when we verbally share what is on our heart with another whom we trust.
Seek the company of devout persons
This is self-explanatory I think! As much as possible, surround yourself with people who are living out the faith and trying to live a life pleasing to God.
Resign yourself into God's hands
"Above all, resign yourself into God's hands, disposing yourself to endure your sadness with patience... and never doubt that when God has sufficiently tried you, He will set you free from this trial."
A Note on the Devil's Use of Sadness
St. Francis notes,
It is only towards the good that the enemy employs sorrow as a temptation, for inasmuch as he seeks to make sinners take delight in their sin, so he seeks to make good works grievous to the good; and as he can only lead the one to evil by making it seem agreeable, so he can only deter the other from what is good by making it seem disagreeable.
In other words, for those who seek to do the right thing, Satan makes that thing seem disagreeable, unpleasurable, a burden. For those who prefer their ways without God, Satan continues to give the illusion that it is pleasure, agreeable and appealing. This pleasure, however, is always fleeting. It comes and as soon as the moment passes, the exhilaration quickly passes thereafter.
Keep this principle in mind!
We are certainly living in a whirlwind of things to be sad or anxious about - whether they are discoveries we're finding in ourselves or in the world. I find St. Francis gives us very practical advice about how to handle like a saint!
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